Rydia

You've had quite a lot of specific advice so you should be able to neaten up those details now but I'm going to try and give you a few suggestions ...

Hey hey! Others have caught the couple of typos you had so I'll not repeat those and instead try to give you some more general advice. Song Compatibility It worked ...

I'm really loving some of your imagery in this one, particularly the last two lines of your first stanza, very well written. However, I'm not sure about your word choice ...

I think I shall start with a line by line lest you should get lost in my rambling comments =) I am I am I am I am if only ...

Hey there! To be honest, I don't like this one as much as some of your others, I found it a little dull and plain. There isn't anything that really ...

Here's a few general pieces of advice: Spell Check It may not sound like much but seriously, run your work through a spell checker before you post it. It gives ...

Hey there! Here you go, as requested, just a few comments on the story itself, I'll not be too nit-picky: “My life is over,” Cheryl wailed, tears streaming down her ...

Hello there! Okay I think I shall start with a line by line and then sum my feelings up at the end once I've decided what those are ;) To ...

Hey hey! Okay so I love the end of this poem and everything that's held in that last line and you have some lovely imagery and a good theme but ...

Sorry you've had to wait so long! First sentences To be honest, not everyone will judge your story by the first sentence, some might give it a page before they're ...

Characters At the moment, both Dilion and Cora seem very similar and it's hard to disentangle them. They both the same sense of humour which in itself is quite rare, ...

An excellent start, I'm loving the setting you've chosen and the plot could make this very interesting but here's a few things for you to consider: ‘In response to the ...

I often consider maybe as yes so here I am and I hope you find this at least slightly helpful. Just a few specific points first: The group slithered away ...

Hey there! Sorry about the wait. Buzz I'm standing at the edge of a cliff with one hand wrapped around the waist of the most beautiful woman in the world, ...

Sorry it has taken me so long to get around to this! Guess I was more busy than I thought but here you go: Preface: I didn't find much of ...