Ryanx

Ryan, here to do a quick reveiw. Your writing is beautifully done and I would like to see more. I myself do not see a lot of books about zombies ...

You wanted an honest opinion and hear it is: I didn't like this piece too much. The characters lacked substance. You did too much telling rather than showing and there ...

I'm having mixed feelings on this one. I like how Janilima is attracted to the beauty of nature, but I can't get into your sentence structure. Use more of a ...

Good concepts. Good ideas. However, I didn't like the way you expressed them. You did more telling than showing. It seems more like a screenplay than a story right now. ...

Almost perfect. Almost. What keeps me from giving you a perfect ten is how Jeremy's incentive was not included. Granted, this is a longer story, and maybe you haven't gotten ...

....You're missing something here. I can't quite pinpoint it yet, but I think that the plot is astray. You can't feed the readers the same idea for paragraphs on without ...

The Final Warning by James Patterson. Oh, the horror! It lacked voice, was too cliche, the plot was totally unrelated to the Maximum Ride series and overall, it was a ...

Not bad. It left me in suspense at "I've been meaning to tell you...." I like how you show that the girl is blind rather than telling. It makes everything ...

Yo RyanX Here: Lets see. The nitpicks are already picked out so i'll talk about the peice itself. It's very descriptive and thats a a plus. It's also Very dramtic. ...

Technically, this is a scene and not a story. Anyway add feeling to the persons sorrow by using imagery and diction. Similes and metaphors would also be good to add ...

This story is confusing, but interesting. Maybe you could change the wording around a bit or give us more description. Who is Mallor? What are these gems? Will he use ...

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this a 7. For me, it was a nice reading experience,visualizing the main character wandering through NYC and interacting with the ...

I think I see what you're trying to do.It's a different approach to writing I've never seen before.......I LOVE IT! Very clever,especially in the beginning. I like how "we" went ...

AT first when I noticed the short length. I didn't know what to think. I thought you might be one of those writers who try to write some quick garbage ...

Don't get mad or anything, but this piece is amateur. What all the other reviewers are saying is definitely true. You need more voice, more sentence variety,and a more consistent ...