Ross

Okay, I loved the character's thoughts running through the story. They added some great comic humor to what would have been a very soap-opera story. That's good. I loved the ...

Okay, this is EXTREMELY rushed. You give us no depth to the character, Missy--and she seems to be the main character because the events revolve around her. Give her quirks. ...

When I was reading this, I felt uncomfortable and stuff--and I'm 14 like RubberDuck's sister. I think that this could border on smut (porn) and I think you need to ...

Agree with Amber about the backflips and stuff with your heart. COMMAS! I'm seeing a lack of grammar in here. M'dear Alice, that isn't like you! Lack of grammar turns ...

Screaming. Dying echoes of screaming. Filling her head with long lost, painful memories of misery and havoc. Her voice was somewhere among those voices, those blood curdling voices. And she ...

This was a good poem, but it was a very confusing structure. Is it about math? Science? Cooking with numbers? ;) And also, try and bring the guy in my ...

YAY! First review! Well, what can I say? This is a very good piece of writing. I have virtually no complaints except for a couple of spelling errors. "Lied" should ...

This is a good commentary, but what about pop, classical, rock? I know you cater to your personal tastes, but dig deeper. Otherwise, a lot of people will be like ...

I agree with Summerless. The way you can make it longer is to show, not tell. Have the reader experience the burning cheeks of a blush or the irritation when ...

Although this does sound like abuse in a way, it's mostly because of your word choice in the second verse. "You want to make me scream with pain." Find a ...

First of all, welcome to YWS! Second of all, I agree with OverEasy about the 2 reviews=1 post thing. Thirdly, I love how you presented this poem. It's the first ...

Okay, I didn't read the other stuff (which I should probably have done) but this was very good. Typos were scant and so were spelling errors. I loved your use ...

This is a very engaging story. However, your paragraph structure turned me off. My personal preference--and some others on here--like it like this: Paragraph Paragraph Paragraph This is a very, ...

Very good. The pacing was excellent. I loved your use of italics and normal font states. I don't really need anything to critique. The rest has covered it. But I ...

This is a very, very disturbing storyline. I think that you should tone down the explicitness a little bit, because I almost wanted to gag as I read it. (Sorry ...