Why I Hate Liking You

As soon as i read this i thought about that one person for me. I got over her now anyway. Thank god haha.

All I have to say is that you could maybe reduce the amount of "I hate" while still getting the point across.

Also in the first stanza personally i would use "Hey" instead of "Hi" to finish it off.

thats pretty good. I can relate to it a lot.
"knowing that 'we' may never be"
that something that im sure a lot of people can relate to

I agree with Summerless. The way you can make it longer is to show, not tell. Have the reader experience the burning cheeks of a blush or the irritation when this crush doesn't pick up. Also, the '&' needs to be replaced with 'and'. It sounds more professional.

I agree and disagree with Summerless about the good parts. The "knowing that 'we'..." is good, but very cliche. Replace it with something stronger and less overused. I like the last one too, but that is cliche also. Change the wording a little bit.

Good start, but needs some work.

Grade: C-

Critique

I hate wishing upon every star,

Knowing that ‘we’ may never be.

I hate that I constantly notice you,
But when I’m around, you’re blind.

It's nice, where u go and use a ABCB rhyme scheme and then all of the it changes in the last stanza. Pretty cool.

I like the way you always say how you hate it.

I'm not much of a romance poet, but I liked this.

I loved it!!!!!
I love how I can really relate to that poem!!!
Once again I loved it!!!!

I was going to review an other poem when I saw your title and thought, "I have to go read that one!!"

I liked this. Especially the line "I hate wishing upon every star" - oooh it's just so great!
And I liked that it rhymed and wasn't awkward because of trying to find suitable rhyming words - good!

Some critique: "&" doesn't look good in a poem (or actually anywhere) so put "and" instead. You don't have to use quotation marks in "just to say you & say 'hi'" and "'we' may never be", it'd work well without them.

Nice job, Lindsey!

All the best from
Demeter

I lov your poetry i am this situation right now so please review my poetrry

I like the the teen agnst and the grit in this poem.

Great job. Its simple but gets what you want to say across in a way that everyone can relate to it. I know that this isn't very helpful but I can't think of anything to change.

A basic and slightly familiar poem.

Now, as for specific form, I don't see the meter itself. Say... a 6 6 7 6 structure. While sound in meaning, it just doesn't follow form.

Oh my... this is an old poem. It's quite amazing how you've progressed throughout the years. You've progressed a long way from this sort of ranty non-poem thing to some really pretty poetry.

I can relate to the whole poem and i think that's good (to find people that'll read it and then be able to know exactly what your writing about). I really like this poem, i think you've made a really good start. Mabe the poem could stay as it is ? Or you could add another verse.. ? Up to you. I'd like both. (: X

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you’re always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close…
not even a little bit…
not even at all.


Sound familiar? Well its from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You if you haven't seen it. This poem made me think of that one...but not in a good way. It's the exact same idea and almost the same format. Even if you havent seen that movie, its a bit cliche. It's true that a lot of people can relate...but I also think that any one of them could have written this same poem.

Basically, I'm not sure what you can really FIX about this...I just don't think its terribly original.

I hate this feeling inside of me,
I hate blushing when you pass by,
I hate having to go out of my way,
Just to see you & say ‘hi’.

I hate calling when you don’t pick up,
I hate it when you’re on my mind,
I hate that I constantly notice you,
But when I’m around, you’re blind.

I hate that you’re so hard to get,
I hate how easily you'd have me,
I hate wishing upon every star,
Knowing that ‘we’ may never be.

Wow. Great poem. Really. Its very well written and a lot of people feel the same way as the narrator. I can totally relate to you.

i can relate to this poem as well and i think it would make a beautiful slow song...keep up the good work.

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I can relate to that poem so much...
its very good

LiNdSeYo7 wrote:I hate that I constantly notice you,
But when I’m around, you’re blind.