Sohini: Thanks for leaving a comment! Yeah, I was a little worried about Krum acting a little OOC, but there's less to work with in terms of him.
deafwriter_19: Thank you for all the kind words! 
My life is brilliant.
Honestly, it really is. I mean, come on, I'm Viktor Krum. I’m the Seeker on Bulgaria’s national team, I have girls swooning over me wherever I go, and Quidditch lovers and non-lovers alike treat me like royalty, practically kissing the very ground I tread on.
But I didn’t want all that—I would give it all up, for her. If only I could have her.
I closed my eyes and let the emotion wash over me, sweeping through from the tips of my hair follicles to the very edges of my toes. All around me people rushed around, in a hurry, trying to get somewhere. Although I suppose that is to be expected in a subway station.
My love is pure. I saw an angel, of that I’m sure.
But then I lost her. Being the complete idiot that I am, I let her go. There’s no one to blame, really. I suppose it never would have really worked out anyway. We were too different. Social rank wasn’t the issue; she is famous now, in her own right, and I suppose rightfully so too. She deserves it a lot more than I deserve my fame. All I did to gain my current position was simply to do what I loved—play Quidditch. She…she risked everything, and helped save the world.
She’s caring, kind, intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive, perceptive… while I—I am merely an athlete.
I opened my eyes, drinking in the bustling sights anew. After the War, I changed, somehow.
I gasped, suddenly catching sight of someone unmistakably familiar. She turned, and our eyes met, across a sea of strangers.
She smiled at me on the subway.
And then she turned and was swallowed up by the crowd again. My heart stopped for a second, my breath catching in my throat. It was her. Wasn’t it? Her image, smiling at me, was burned into my retinas.
Yes, she caught my eye, as we walked on by.
She had changed since I last saw her. What was it? Six, seven years ago? Had it really been that long? Her hair was smoother now, more sleek and lustrous, and curled gently into swaying waves.
She was with another man.
I frowned. Only after precious seconds had passed did this thought really begin to register in my mind. She was with another man. Kind of tall, red-haired. And then it hit me. Ron Weasley. He had risen to be a household name along with her, after helping Harry Potter save the wizarding world.
Panic rose up in me, fighting with my conscious mind, fighting with common sense. I took a step forward, preparing to go after her. An impulse decision. A young child ran by, and we nearly collided. I took a deep breath, but that was all that was needed to clear my mind. This wasn’t my place to try and come back into the picture.
I smiled sadly, gently shaking my head a bit.
I don’t think that I’ll see her again, but we shared a moment that will last to the end.
My memories, however, wouldn’t—couldn’t—ever be taken away from me. And we had shared some beautiful times together, way back when. Times which I would never forget. After all, her charisma, understanding, and ability to treat me like a regular guy had really helped to shape who I am today. She really is a beautiful person, through and through.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful, it’s true. I saw your face, in a crowded place, and I don’t know what to do, ‘cause I’ll never be with you.
It was time to accept that and move on. Finally seeing her again, all these years later, gave me some closure. I felt something move in my heart, and felt free—wonderfully free, after all these years spent prisoner under her spell. With one glance, one smile, she had managed to release me.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face, when she thought up that I should be with you. But it’s time to face the truth:
With a grim smile, I spared on last look in the direction in which she had disappeared. Then, slowly, I turned and walked away.
I will never be with you.
Sohini: Thanks for leaving a comment! Yeah, I was a little worried about Krum acting a little OOC, but there's less to work with in terms of him.
deafwriter_19: Thank you for all the kind words!
Very good. The pacing was excellent. I loved your use of italics and normal font states. I don't really need anything to critique. The rest has covered it.
But I loved your display of Viktor Krum--if that's who the narrator is. He seems more than a side character now and you have really fleshed him out. Well done on that!
I found no typos at all!
Grade: A+
Hmm...a nice theme for a HP fan fic and Mr. Blunt should be happy.
Although (my opinion really) that Krum's passion should be a little more subtle.
But this is an enjoyable read.
ambercoultis: Thank you
melanie21: Thanks. Glad to have moved you slightly from your dislike of Krum 
purple_star: Semi-colons are fun to play around with. The child was just a random child, there wasn't a symbolic representation in relation to either Hermione or Ron. Although in a sense it was symbolic of innocence and reality and etc. Thanks for the comments!
Hi.
I really enjoyed the way the song flowed well with the story, I also liked the way you did the story years on from when the last book finishes. Well Done.
'A young child ran by, and we nearly collided.'
Maybe you could put a semi-colon in place of the comma and the and, like this:
'A young child ran by; we nearly collided.'
But that's just me, I have an obsession with semi-colons.
By the way, was the young children one of Hermione's and Ron's, or just a random kid, or did it represent anything?
There I go again, thinking too deep about things.
Anyway, I really enjoyed it, and I'm a hard-core Harry Potter fan!
Keep writing, especially using songs and stories, it's great!
Using "songfic" was a great idea for this piece. I agree with what someone commented earlier about possibly too much background but overall it was incredibly enjoyable. You converted me slightly from my Krum dislike, nice job! Keep writing!
The pic up top explanes who Vickter Krum *sorry for miss spelling..* is talking about and great job.Two thumbs up!
-em
WriterAddict12356: If you're not sure what a songfic is, go google the definition. "Bad. Horrible..." is hardly considerable as a critique, and in no way can be construed as constructive critisim. Take your spam somewhere else. If you're going to say that there's something wrong with the piece, then point out what is wrong and how it can be improved instead of being a monosyallabic spammer.
Jadeite: Thanks for the feedback.
Very nice story. I really like how you expressed the feelings of victor crumb towards hermione granger. I found it very entertaining and enjoyable. Very nicely done and good work.
Huh? Im sorry... but... what the hell is songfic? Mixing songlines with fiction?
Bad. Horrible...
Aedomir: Thanks for pointing out the tense change, and for the compliments!
Saint Razorblade: Yep, pretty new to YWS. Wow, I got you first fanfic crit here; I'm honoured; thanks. Yeah, the first time (the one quoted) was written for impact and basically to support the statement of how good his life is. But I suppose it may be overdone in places. Yes, it is a one-shot. Thanks for critiquing!
Tamora: Not a particularly hardcore fan of James Blunt or anything, but "You're Beautiful" is, simply put, a beautiful song, and I figured that it would work well in this case. Thanks for the comments!
OnCeUpOnAtIm3Xo: Thanks!
Blue Fairy: Thanks!
AmorOccidit: Yeah, the "trod" thing's been changed now. Thanks for commenting!
I am not a fan of James Blunt or of Viktor Krum but this story made me put those feelings aside. This was beautifully written and they way the story went along with the song was perfect.
The only thing that really caught my eye was the whole "trod" thing, you've already been told of that problem so that's all I really thave to say.
Great job!
Awww i feel really sorry for victor now 
But thats a good thing because it means that you've brought across the emotion really well and I thought this was excellent.
Well done 
Keep writing!
~Blue
*I really want to listen to that song now
I love it, I take it you're a fan of James Blunt as well as HP! Me too! This is a good take on the song, it really works well, and the way you've done it made it hard for me to click until (apart from the title) until the chorus, very well done! That's very clever!
The best thing about his peice is how you've developed it so that it all fits, Hermione and Ron are now household names (nice touch), the different types of fame that make him feel apart from her, there's alot of depth that you've created through this simple mingling of a story and a song. Well done! It's brilliant!
If you do another one, please PM me, I really want to see your work!
Hiya! I haven't seen you around YWS before. Welcome! I'm Saint and I shall be your critiquer today.
Hmm, I don't think I've ever critted fanfiction on YWS before. Congratulations!
Honestly, it really is. I mean, come on, I'm Viktor Krum. I’m the Seeker on Bulgaria’s national team, I have girls swooning over me wherever I go, and Quidditch lovers and non-lovers alike treat me like royalty, practically kissing the very ground I trod on.
Oh, lol! Harry Potter! Any reason why you did this? 
ground I trod on.
120,240 Literary Works • 649,228 Reviews
That was so sad. It was really good though!
Points: 890
Reviews: 7
Donate