RoseTulipLily

So the only new critic I feel I can add is that it wasn't neccesary to say,"and the world around him faded. Faded into a dull grey." when you could ...

The last line was quite powerful indeed. The story in its entirety was incredibly poignant. You could truly feel her genuine emotion here. The switching between first and third person ...

I felt an instant amount of pity for the narrator the second I read the first paragraph. He comes across as truly human and in real life, there are people ...

An okay story, I'll admit. My only critic is that instead of saying,"He knew he wasn’t supposed to go by that particular street. Jackson Cane had been repeatedly warned not ...

This chapter is definitely an improvement, though I must say I don't think it was necessary to say Siren was tired when the fact that she yawned conveys that alone. ...

I noticed that you wrote "you're husband" when it should be "your husband" among other mistakes which others have already pointed out so I won't babble about those. The first ...

So I'm inclined to agree with others who say this was a bit too short. Granted, it's a short story for a reason but still. You're good at imagery, as ...

This poem is was beautiful. In such simple words, you manage to correctly and emotionally describe us human beings. We all have so many flaws that we try to hide ...

Simple, but touching and well-written. Even if we don't learn the character's name, it doesent stop the reader from feeling his emotions which is always important when writing effective characters. ...

I'd off some critiques, but it seems everyone else has already beaten me to it so I'll just cut to the chase. At first, I felt incredibly sorry for the ...

As someone who's fascinated by World War II, I greatly enjoyed this. Every Nazi is usually viewed as being evil, but this story serves as a reminder that there were ...