To sit by
There are no happy endings,
Not near, and not far,
Life is a tale of woe.
The best we can do
Is live life to the fullest
And try even in it’s lows.
|
Yet we continue to sit still,
Gazing blankly at the clock,
As time goes on without us,
As the boat of life leaves its dock.
|
We let adventure go on without us,
We sit back, and withdraw,
Never breaking chains,
Never questioning laws.
|
The vibrant colors of life leave us,
As everything turns to gray,
And the joy of the world
Turns inevitably into dismay.
|
And thusly we live our lives,
All of us, except for one,
Yet it is those lucky few,
Who we choose to shun.
|
For we hate to look in the mirror,
To see what we truly are,
And understand our flaws,
And accept that we are marred.
|
So we invent our lying facades,
Hide what we truly believe,
Living a false life,
Until we are taken; and forever leave.
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140,922 Literary Works • 673,737 Reviews
Hi, DameinCyfer! This is Queenie here to review your poem. I really like your poem. My interpretation of it is that you are trying to convince people to live their lives as who they truly are and to live life to its fullest potential. I think that this is a very important message to convey and that you wrote it well. Now for the critiques. In stanza two the line "and time goes on without us" and the line in stanza three "We let adventure go on without us" I think that "on without us" shouldn't be repeated so closely together. Perhaps you could try replacing "without us" in the second stanza with a different phrase. Also, I don't think that the line "And accept that we are marred" fits well with the flow of the poem. I suggest that you replace the word marred. Other than that, I think that you did a really good job on your poem, and I look forward to reading your future works.
Thank you!
This poem is was beautiful. In such simple words, you manage to correctly and emotionally describe us human beings. We all have so many flaws that we try to hide but whenever we look in the mirror, we see the truth. You make all of that so clear. I think what especially makes this so good is that you used and encorporated your own feelings of sadness and melancholy to create this literary masterpiece. Would love to read more from you.
Thanks for the review
Hey there DamienCyfer! It's your girl Caitlin, here!
I really liked your poem, it was beautiful. It also flowed very well, and was a joy to read. A great poem about sitting by, being human, and of course, the inevitable truth that we all have flaws.
Thanks