RoryLegend

I loved this! That second comma in the sixth line did throw me off and I think you could omit it, but besides that I didn't see any typo's or ...

Um, this cracked me up. I'm seriously in love with this poem. To me the flow was good and the humor worked. I wish you would rap this and make ...

First reviewer! Woot. So I tried to read your Prologue and it was too much for me. I couldn't stay interested at all and it basically, like the reviews said, ...

So you got a pretty in depth grammar review and I'm awful at grammar so I'll just stick with other stuff. Sound good? First, I like your Carson character. I ...

I really loved that. I wish you would write more because I think you could make a whole sort of story out of it. I think the main character, Marque, ...

You took that prompt in an interesting direction. I like the part where she goes INSANE and breaks all the glasses then says, "was that crazy enough for you?" Heck, ...

Hey there! So I thought this chapter was pretty good. I found myself more involved with reading it than the first. You have a good way of describing things like ...

Suggestions: "I beamed and held her small frame tighter. My curly locks shrouding us both as we hugged."

Hello! Some nitpicks. Please capitalize your I's, you are important! Also I wouldn't switch you for ya, as mentioned before. I also wouldn't say things like "soooooo perfect" because then ...

So I wish that I was Browneyes...or Amy...either one really. Nitpick alert. All those spaces REALLY threw me off. At first I was bored and thought "this belongs in poetry." ...

"But you’re too bad for her, boy Too damaged and tainted, with your battered wings and reckless grin," ^^my favorite lines. "battered wings and reckless grin," yum. Okay, I'm attracted ...

1. You are a goddess. 2. I often feel like not wearing my pants. So usually I do just take them and throw them on the floor! Points for accuracy. ...

Okay so when I read the title I was totally ready for something for anti-Christian and anti-religion, so I was pleasantly surprised. While I myself am not overly religious I ...

Hello there! So I just read this and I think you have some great potential with this story! Here's my biggest suggestion: Get rid of everything that comes before this: ...

Hullerrrrrr So I quite enjoyed this. It seems a tad depressing so I don't know if I'll read the whole thing if you do write the rest of the novel, ...