Ringo_rules987

I see you're fairly new, so welcome to YWS! Now onto the poem. I'll start with the first thing I saw about this poem, the title. It's a bit of ...

I really like this. It's a "journey" kind of a poem, and I think that fits well considering you threw in a driving theme. The first stanza was my favorite. ...

This is fine, I think you could improve it a bit however. First of all, you don't need to capitalize the first word of each line. Think of it like ...

I'm not entirely sure how to critique this. I can enjoy a short poem. Heck, Emily Dickinson fit in a ton of meaning in her poem "Fame is a Bee" ...

This was very unrefined to me. Grammatically, you lacked punctuation and capitalization. You're a writer, proofread your work for punctuation, it's your responsibility. Your rhyming wasn't that great

It's decent, but I think it lacked a bit of an impact, I didn't feel much from it. Can you feel the currents blowing On top of the world? Motionless ...

This isn't bad, by any means. There were some good elements in there, but you had a few blunders in there as well that need fixing. First, the lack of ...

I won't break this down stanza by stanza, I don't find it necessary. Your main problem here is that you made this far too self-indulgent. I felt very disconnected from ...

When I first read this, I was a bit confused, but once I read it over I understood the theme you were going for, which was pretty clever from my ...

You had some good elements in here, but something falls short. I'm not sure how much you thought about, "how can I make this topic the best it can possibly ...

I think you had the right idea conceptually, but those rhymes just ruined it for me. They're force, overdone, and I don't think that they are necessary at all for ...

I don't have much to say about this one. It wasn't bad by any means, but it wasn't, well... amazing. Your imagery was okay, but you need a few metaphors ...

Okay let's do this. The first two stanzas of the poem were very good in my opinion. They were fun, you had some nice adjectives and adverbs thrown in there ...

This is a decent first poem. I liked it, mainly because that's my primary style of poetry. My problem is your lack of imagery, you basically made one very powerful ...

It was nice, but it doesn't necessarily leave me with an impact nor did I feel the topic was at all unique. What really bothered me throughout the entire poem ...