Rei

It seemed almost like two different poem/songs with the same theme. Try mixing up the stanzas, so that the ones where you repeat the line "Take me home" go before ...

It's a nice first draft, with a lovely tone. It needs more, though. It could use some metephores and maybe some similes, and lots of pretty images.

*shudders*

Well, you know my thoughts on this piece from TSR. I'm just wondering why you felt this was correct for Romantic fiction.

Thanks, but what do you mean by "more personality"? That is me.

Once again, I think this poem would benefit from being a little more free-flowing, and not being restrcted by a rhyming scheme. it would also be better with longer lines ...

Ah, teen angst poetry. Try being a little more free-flowing in your choice of words, and use a wider variety of images to show your feelings. This type of poetry ...

That's fantastic! Was it frightening for you to leave the city you grew up in, even if it was temporary?

Meh, love stories are all cliche. This was very beautifully written. The language was strong. It was all very indirect, yet very clear and understandible. I love it!

Mildly amusing but altogether pointless. Also, where's the action? There was no adventure in this story.

For sure. Considering what my Michael (A.K.A. Unicorn) means to me, I'll be hanging on to this for a long time.

:? I thought I already did.

Definitely. My last response was just out of annoyance because it showed that he didn't properly read what I had said. This is a site where we can sometimes get ...

Hmmmmmmmmm . . . :smt074 I think that says it all.

Read what I said. I said that her essay did not say that, as far as I recall. And the actual author of the essay accepted our critizism without a ...