.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
For sure. Considering what my Michael (A.K.A. Unicorn) means to me, I'll be hanging on to this for a long time.
I thought it was great. Other than the typos i think it stood a good chance. It really expresses how a fantasy writers thoughts are hard to share cause sometimes they can be considered crazy. I know mine are. A job well done in my mind. Make sure you hold onto this. you might be able to use it in the future.
This was wonderful. I really loved it, well written; very well done.
*stares at above comment* We'll just ignore him.
I loved this piece... It should have won!
That quote really struck me, because that's exactly what I did in the elementary-junior high years. That was also back when I was called 'Harry Potter's girlfriend' by my peers because I wore almost prefectly round glasses and was the first Harry Potter fan in my grade. But enough of that. I think that this monologue speaks for the shy, childlike bookworm in all of us. I mean, weren't all writers this way once, with books as their only friends? If you haven't experienced this, than maybe that's why you can't grasp why so many people like this. It's brilliant. It speaks to our childhood.
I guess it's a girl thing, because I didn't get this. I understood the cncept, but I just didn't find it at all moving or even worthwhile. I would love to be enlightened on why many people find this piece to be wonderful and moving. Thanks.
I never did win that conest. Oh well. OSAP and help from my mom has proven enough until I get a job for the summer. And my unicorn and I are moving in at the end of the school year when we have to move out of the residence.
you and i share the same avattar.i,m obsessed with cats-really crazy about them!are u??here's what i think of your writing:
Fantastic! Touchy writing for fantasy-lovers like us.
The first bit is a bit too vague and a bit difficult to understand.
Could u please explain the part ‘bout “Underground”?
Know what? I’ll tell u a secret- I have a pet unicorn, just a seven month uni-foal. She’s really pretty and come by in the land of “Feirg” and u can meet her.
I think you should add a‘d’ to the “eserve” in the 2nd sentence.
I’m a temporary resident of MIDDLE EARTH too!!
I’m sure I’ll feel the same way you do when I’m of your age.
Let us know the contest results. Wish you luck.
**In case you were wondering where “Feirg” is, then u’ll have to wait a while. It’s a place in the fantasy novel I’m writing. It’ll take a decade to finish and another decade to get it published. We share the same dream, don’t we??**
For me, pretty good is just as good as it gets. The only higher stage is, "Awesome."
Oh yes, I have definitely found my unicorn in Mike.
I love this!
and
really stand out for me. They're some of those lines that I (and many others) can relate to. I like how you brought the unicorn back in the last sentence. It's brings everything together really well.
Keep up the great work, and good luck in your contest!
I really don't know how I feel about saying this yet, but I think I may have found my unicorn.
Is "pretty good" really the sort of phrase you want to use a exclamation point with?
Pretty good! I like it.
Even so, I'm going to point out all the tyops.
I thought I was useless, that I didn't eserve any better.
Well, now I know differently. everything...
How could I not?.
Yep. Big time nitpicking...
Short of the afore mentioned spelling errors, I really loved this. Just the overall feel. As stated by others, this was me all over! I just really felt touched by this.
This is just so poignant to me. ^_^
Just brilliant. I think you've just captured every fantasy author's thoughts.
It is very well written I belive it has a very good chance of winning.
oh my gosh.. Rei, this is great. I think what Brad said pretty much sums everything up, too.
I'd love to see this on-stage..
Thanks for you support, everyone. I really hope I win. I also submitted the monologue in my play. But I won't know for a few more months if I win. I think the winners' issue comes out in October. The prize is $500!
Wow, this was great. I loved this, Rei! As stated above, there were a few spelling and grammatical errors that could be patched up, but other than that, I loved it. Nicely done
This was beutiful, you have a very good chance of winning, Rei. So many people can relate to this. I like how you use the same qoute at the end and beginning. Very good. Hope ya win!
This is quite good, apart from a few little mistakes. I reckon you'd have a good chance in the contest.
I entered this into a monologue-writing contest. What do you think my chances are?
Very well done. It was interesting, and gave me those lines i can never make out when i watch the movie. ^__^
It touched me too
That's me all over.
I love it how you used the unicorn again in the end. I don't want to point out bits where you didn't use capital letters or misspelt things, it would spoil it for me.
I can completely relate to the message of the story. There are errors, but they are very minor typos and do not affect the quality of the piece. I also understand that the lack of visuals does create a problem, but it is still a strong piece.
This is exactly how I feel. You get the emotions of a young woman down exactly. This is a great, original piece that is uniquely moving.
Of course it wasn't written for kids. It was written for a community theatre project I was in last year. The play was about young women and the problems we face, as well as why things change for some, and not others, as well as what makes every young woman's experience different. Perhaps anything that was unclear was because this was written for the stage. Since this does lack the visuals of the performance, where you actually see my struggle with those trying to keep me in that world of pretend, it does lose something.
Grammatically, there are few spots where you messed up, but nothing that's going to devastate this piece. The work itself is obviously not directed to a younger audience, who would give up reading it half way through because of the esoteric purveyance of your point. You could be a little more clear in the presentation, as well. IF, that's what you want. Somehow, though, I doubt you were truly striving for a younger audience's eyes. Personally, I liked this. Although, I usually like your pieces, because they're almost always moving and strangely personal. Very good job.