tear my soul out,
rip it apart,
shear it to shreds,
break my heart.
I gave up long ago,
now I am free,
you can break what you want,
but you can't break me.
You mock me, you laugh at me,
you destroy my life.
I don't know what I did,
to deserve this strife.
I just live how I can,
can't help that I'm different.
and yet I get the mockery,
I thought my life was spent.
you were my problem,
the dark in the light.
Now I leave you,
and end the fight.
tear my soul out,
rip it apart,
shear it to shreds,
break my heart.
I gave up long ago,
now I am free,
you can break what you want,
but you can't break me.
I remember the good times,
and how we were so glad,
you try to get me on it,
and make me feel sad.
but the others I remember,
were full of hate and lies.
the pain that you caused me
destroys our joyous times.
There is only one at fault,
and why we were through,
I know that it wasn't me,
it was all caused by you.
tear my soul out,
rip it apart,
shear it to shreds,
break my heart.
I gave up long ago,
now I am free,
you can break what you want,
but you can't break me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I agree, but other then that it was really great; I hope to read more of your lyrics
What they said.
I think I critiqued this more thoroughly on TSR, but I can't find it.
You don't need to rhyme. Use words that fit what you're trying to say, rather than what fits a certain rhyme scheme.
I agree. Maybe somre revision here and there. And the repitition sounded kinda...off.
Once again, I think this poem would benefit from being a little more free-flowing, and not being restrcted by a rhyming scheme. it would also be better with longer lines and stanzas.