RacheDrache

You know what the cool thing is? Despite this being a sequel, I wasn't lost. Might actually make a good story on its lonesome (though it's so early, it's hard ...

Hello again! I have to agree with Allie--Bryan's definitely a smart kid for saying no to this Reinna. Because... well, because Reinna is awfully hard to like, and that might ...

Hello again, I was so sad this was so short. In fact, the length is probably my biggest issue. That, and how this fits in with the previous chapter. This ...

Hi there, Brooklyn! I haven't read the other chapters, so I'm not going to be too much use on the story front (though I'll do my best!). As a consequence, ...

Hiya, Ritehunter. 'Tis Rach and Ribbit (the frog) here to review. First things first, you might want to space out your paragraphs. The site gets rid of indenting when you ...

Hi, Jedigeek! I've got one word for you: punctuation! You've got run-on sentences galore here, and it makes the story hard to read. So, go through and add those periods. ...

Well, damn. Usually, I'm not a fan of first person. And usually when there's a hint of romance and the first-person narrator is female, I groan a little bit and ...

Hi, IKnowAll! I'm Rach, and I guess I get the honor of being the first to review this. (Unless someone steals my spot while I'm rambling at you.) First, I've ...

Hiya, Apple! This chapter is definitely on the right track. The pacing and description are good. You also do a good job of building suspense, which is difficult to do ...

Oh, they're cats! Makes much more sense now. I'm guessing you're a fan of the Warriors books? I haven't read them myself but my friend has...should this maybe be in ...

Hi, Allie! This was so short, I don't know how much I can say, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. First, for future reference, you might want to space ...

Hi Bunnys r Beast! I'm Rach, and I'm reviewing this for ya. First, a quick hint! You'll get more reviews if you space out your paragraphs. Spacing them out is ...

Hi Derek, I'm Rachael, the frog's Ribbit, we're here to review, I do things differently than most, [/end nice little lead-in] I noticed two things right off the bat that ...

Oh, what a story for my 100th review! I enjoyed it immensely. As the others mentioned, the beginning lagged slightly. Your opening line nudged my curiosity, and then... then we ...

Hi, here to review, as requested! It looks like you've got some great input already, so I guess this'll be short. Also, I haven't read all of the reviews, so ...