Passion

Tarameagan, You're an amazing writer for a newb on YWS. I enjoyed reading your poem, you successfully brought across emotion well. However, your poem was choppy. "Cant see , blinded ...

Tarameagen, for the most part, this is a well written poem. My own thoughts is that you've over used your commas or placed them in the wrong place. These are ...

You have some really good imagery. There's more than just photographic imagery there, you're making emotions shine. You've done an amazing job at making that come across. I also like ...

That is absolutely adorable! I'm sorry but it is so cute. And it's amazing. You have skill. It flowed, and it had music to it. Like a very relaxing note ...

I thought that was funny! You did good on it. There are tidbits of grammar problems, like where you should have added an "s" but you didn't. It confused me ...

The over all poem was good. It's just the end rhyming was too much. Or so I thought, there are those who use them freely. It did work in the ...

Home is just around the corner You should have put it like this: Home, is just around the corner You have a bigger effect when you can see a pause ...

I don't know what to say. There are some grammar errors, but every one has them, watch out for cutting off sentences and such like that. Punctuation can be a ...

Are you sure you're 12? Wow, that's actually amazing what you've written. You should definitly keep up with your writing because you have a natural talent. And take pride in ...

That's exactly how I feel! Man school is so boring and meaningless sometimes, but I do need it for my future. We all need it and don't even know it ...

Wow BeeBeeBB, you have a very heart felt poem right there. As me and my sister were reading it we couldn't believe that you were only FOURTEEN. You have a ...

The air is thick with temptation she feels it flowing through her veins sharp and pure. Her stomach twists, her lips forming a thin line where they meet. Something's either ...

Silent's right, but there's also a night in the day as there's a day in the night. Are your days darkened, do you dream during the daylight hours and not ...

[size=150]But the dilemma in the situation is he raped me when I was just four.I have lived with it for ten years. Till one day I could no longer breath. ...

I knew what I was doing when I said I'd stand by for you. As much as I want to see you now, to both our hearts I stay true. ...