Paracosm

Great piece! I enjoyed reading it! I don't know if anyone caught this because I didn't read their reviews, but anyway, Morning afters should say Mornings After. I know how ...

Umm..... Just wow. That's all I got.

But really, all you have to do to fix the stops is replace the periods with commas. Good poem!

Thank you all for the critiques, but I'm going to approach these parts from a different angle! I'll post the rehash soon!

Thanks for the reviews! I went through the critiques, and it seems quite a bit better! Thanks guys!

Okay! I'll get into the editing! It's been awhile since YWS! Time to jump back in!

Hmmm.... Can't say anything as far as editing goes! Good job! Loved this poem! Very much the truth! I am Christian as well ;D!

Good work! You were very descriptive! Just split it into stanzas, and it will be a lot easier to understand!

Good job! All I can say is work on the rhythm. I can tell you read the book though!

Good work! It was very creative!

Hmmm... It is very good, but it might be more of a short story! Other than that great job! You have a big vocabulary!

Great description! Don't take this in the wrong way, but I didn't get the meaning... You may want to elaborate! It did have very good vivid imagery!

Epic! I really liked this poem! Good job!

Good job! Very poetic and I love the description! It just took me a second to get what was going on!

Great haiku! Most haiku are about describing nature, which is a lot easier then expressing emotion, which you did awesome at! Read some Basho! His haiku's are amazing!