As the stormy weather rolls in, and the clouds shift, blanketing the world. The corrupted souls follow suit. Like an army, lining up, ever at the ready for a looming battle. Feigning death, they draw their blade, glistening of fresh blood, but naught been drawn across flesh.
The tolls of the bells echo though a silent stare, solid black like the poisonous night. A battle, never to be started, and naught to end. Raging forever in silence, forever unseen. Felt by only who is to witness the ache or each clash. Mind, torn, apart and afar, such as the bodies of those giving in to the end of something simple. The storm rages, passing from mind to mind, heart to heart, and soul to soul.
SHOUT OUT TO THE HEAVENS, if you dare, for they shall not reply. Fear the end, and embrace the present. The clouds shift to allow light, seeming to represent hope. No longer. Forgotten and lost, in a pool of dark, liquid as it may, but solid in lethality. SHOUT OUT LOUD TO THE EARTH, but does it listen. Neither to help nor hear. Hell seems imminent, but naught does such exist, for it shall be in consent of the dangers of this battle.
A war cry calls out, piercing the very meaning of it all. SHOUT OUT LOUD TO THE OTHERS, and provide the help that is longed by the lesser of them. Give the ear to listen to what they have to say, and shift the clouds to form the treaty or happiness. For is it ever lasting, or shall it be broken? To set fire to the compassion towards death, and lessen the grip in life. SHOUT.
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Canary word: Present
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I really enjoyed this, but one thing is that it seems like a short story rather than a poem. This is just because of the format you have it in. I'd suggest putting spaces between the sentences in each stanzas.
Hi there. Lavvi in to review.
To tell the truth, I hardly read this. A poem is not a short story, and so we need stanzas and lines. It's so blocky at the moemnt, this seems that it should belong in short stories. Not here in the poems.
Also, when you want to emphasize something, don't capitalize it all. You should underline or italicize. It doesn't hurt the eyes as much.
I'm looking forward to this when it's separated properly.
Yours,
Lavvi
Hmmm... It is very good, but it might be more of a short story! Other than that great job! You have a big vocabulary!
Excellent poem, but I believe you forgot to change the lines -everything was all a big paragraph, and it was hard to tell where a stanza might end!