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Re: Run, Fat Boy, Run! Day 3
BBB, I'm starting to like this, and like Jabber, I like the second ending better. A suggestion: "Oh my gosh. I just related my life to food. That’s all I ...
Apr 29, 2008 -
Re: And Ariel smiled at me,
This was a wonderful peice, Ted, I mean Ed :wink: Unfortunately I just don't get many of the references as I've never read Plath or Hughes. I only know the ...
Apr 26, 2008 - Re: Suspensional Combustion Mar 14, 2008
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Re: The Forgotten End.
I owe you this, at least..... Rickety thing this, but it has some really thought provoking lines. It makes me think of a world of different scenarios and possible poems. ...
Mar 7, 2008 -
Re: Traveler
Well Kit did get the most important points but I just had to tell you that the poem had a distinct feeling of movement, it had the energy of flowing ...
Mar 7, 2008 -
Re: Leaving Home
All right, I'm going to take a guess. There were a lot of lines I tried too swallow but I ended up licking them and putting them back on the ...
Feb 19, 2008 -
Re: The Something Beneath the Stairs, No. 2
Alright, I've read it so far and I think the voice is great. Omnipresent? The second account was from Annabelle's point of veiw wasn't it? And yes, I think the ...
Jan 28, 2008 -
Re: The sky flashes Zeus’s golden lightning
Adrian, that was a very enjoyable read. Just a priliminary suggestion- the lines are a bit tedious and i almost missed that it rhymed altogether. So, in case you have ...
Jan 25, 2008 -
Re: The Murdered and the Murderer (extended)
Just wanted to pull your attention to the verse: "Death came swiftly that Midsummer's night; I doubt such a young girl could put up much a fight." The last line ...
Jan 10, 2008 -
Re: The Murder of Crose [Part One]
I have no idea whether this is a serious story or not but if those tweaks of humor were intentional then i have nothing to complain about. in fact i ...
Jan 5, 2008 -
Re: To Cross the Rubicon
forgive me if i'm wrong, but doesn't 'to cross the Rubicon' mean to put all to stake and just carry on....or something like that. well, i had forgotten the phrase ...
Dec 30, 2007 -
Re: Five o'clock
brilliant, i liked this very much. there were a few things that i didn't quite get- or more specifically, who's the yes man and is the use of yes 'men' ...
Dec 20, 2007 -
Re: Within words
Hmmm.....i haven't read your poetry before, so i don't know whether this was an intended effect, a subconscious one or maybe an idea that just pops in random heads at ...
Dec 18, 2007 -
Re: Epic Poem 1
nice job, neat job........i presume there will be a continuatuon. it's a shame this hasn't received any reveiws so far. i'd say the theme was great, and i hope to ...
Nov 28, 2007 -
Re: honest star
i dont know whether honest star is a person or idea or erm.. never mind i dont know but the flow and the whole poem was really well written. the ...
Nov 20, 2007
