Ofour

"I walk threw the halls seeking your face" - should be "through". Too simple, a statement that does not grip or provide a question. Unless it is used later to ...

Verse 1: I see as an effective microcosm for the apparent beauty of the human race which is enslaved by an invasive media and materialistic society. Those attempting to escape ...

It was a bit... sudden. Maybe I should've read the previous section beforehand to refresh my memory. But it was good, exciting stuff. Harry Potter meets the Lion the Witch ...

I get a mental picture of you inside a bus looking through a window at a loved one and the position of your fingers puts their face between two of ...

"I would also like to add that I am an abysmal poet. All you as the reader need to know about this poem is that it comes from my heart. ...

If your intention was to make people who consider themselves intelligent chuckle to themselves and think "An exquisitely verbose description of the face" then you have succeeded. If your intention ...

You can edit your post after a short period of time instead of telling people what the errors are; if you want you could also delete that second post after ...

Here's what I thought of it: "This is my crazy song. My faith. My redemption. My hopes." Faith, redemption and hopes are all part of a "crazy song". A nice ...

Great poem. I really had no idea what you were talking about, so I made it up in my head. Crack a cap, to slip it back; lubricated down the ...

It's good. The grammar, punctuation and rhythm are fine. But it seems aimless to me. It doesn't reach a conclusion or make a point. This may be intentional and isn't ...

The first one was great. It reads like an opening stanza so why not expand it. "Swift" and "moan" don't quite correspond but apart from that it really was good. ...

I don't undertsnad why you say it's so bad, it certainly isn't. It is a little simple but it retains its effectiveness. If the rest of the piece is in ...

"Growing up an only child can be lonely sometimes and I often think what life would be like if I had been blessed with a brother or a sister around ...

OK, I'm prety hooked now, it's Harry Potter without the hormones. The Geezer seems to be a Gandalf-figure. That's not a perfect analogy but he does remind me of him. ...

"He gave them gold armor? I really can't remember what type of armor it was he was given, but really, gold? He must be the biggest idiot alive." - gee, ...