Nutty

I must say, these are getting better and better. I can't really fault this chapter *feels useless* I love how you are developing your MC, she's really coming along. I ...

:O What a bastard thing to say! I don't like Keith anymore. This section is short and sweet, and I can find little to fault with it. Possibly expand on ...

She watched as six of her classmates downed shots of tequila before popping wedges of lime into their mouth. Don't they also lick salt? ^_^ She could taste of lime ...

She demanded arching a well-manicured eyebrow. Comma after demanded. ^_^ Veronica tried not to let her fear show in her eyes. She sighed dramatically. Maybe you should insert the reaction ...

Sorry about the delay. All of a sudden I got a life 0.o Veronica didn’t say anything as she applied a layer of the strawberry scented goop to her lips. ...

Le Rawr. I be here to review, yupyup. Veronica was distracted the whole day, her mind completely consumed with fantasies of her and Keith. Hrmmm. I'm not keen on this ...

Hey! You kept me alive. Every time I thought that this would be it, this time the pain ... everything would surely kill me, I heard your voice, and I ...

Hey! Sorry for the delay. I've been floundering to find a routine recently. Anyway, I digress... Her locker was a hot mess, with two hoodies, a gray sweatshirt, loose paper, ...

Jessica stirred when sunlight filtered through her curtains and landed on her closed eyes. She yawned and got up, her head still spinning from her dream. She hadn’t dreamed like ...

The blood splattered against the cement floor like a paintbrush smudging crimson red paint against a blank canvas. Okay, you have a lot of describing words. You've described almost every ...

0.0 Uh... Well, there was a warning. Lol. Fumbling at his own trousers his large digits betrayed him and he plunged his head into her flower, audibly kissing it as ...

You're right, it is darker. The night sky was illuminated by flashes of lightning and hills boomed with rolling thunder. White bolts of lightning crashed to the ground as the ...

Woah. >.< Hrmm, I don't have much to say about this one, as I didn't spot any major technical flaws, just watch for sentence fragments. On to the plot- I ...

Aphonia 's tears started to stream down her face as she fought the urge to cry, “He is dead. He's gone... gone...” Okay, she's already crying physically, and she cannot ...

Hey! I won't be too nit-picky from now on, as I think I've found the only few reoccurring problems. Hrmm, looking at the first few paragraphs, I think you have ...