Noelle

Hi there! I've been waiting so long for this chapter! You have no idea. So I read through this a few days ago and thought "How am I going to ...

Hi there! The first thing I want to say is that it's a bit hard to read in italics. Well, not really hard to read, but a bit strange. Ugh, ...

Hi there! Told ya I'd stop by and review :) "Are they being attacked?" He thought to himself, Normally when someone is thinking, it's written in italics. So this can ...

Hi there! “This is my friend Fael , my friend and son of the first technician.” Written this way it'll make better sense. When I first read through it, it ...

Hi there! I see a cliche! ;) "Don't do anything stupid that will get you in his position," he growls. This dialogue seems forced. Think about it, it's an intense ...

Hi there! I saw your second chapter in the Green Room so I figured I'd come check out the first chapter before reviewing the second one! I'm going to start ...

Hi there! Okay, so Hannah took care of the characters and the vagueness of this story, so I'm going to focus on the grammar part of your writing. It'll definitely ...

Hi there! What am I afraid of? Make sure that you add a tag after this. Something like "Carys thought". Otherwise this thought runs into the voices he's hearing. You ...

Hi there! Ah, the endless battle between past and present tense. I hate having to choose because there are so many pros to both of them. But the way I ...

Hi there! So before I get into my review, can I suggest you post future chapters in the novel section? Unless this is actually a short story in many parts ...

Hi there! So I read this chapter yesterday and thought I submitted my review. Obviously not. But anyway... There's something terribly wrong, I think, with dieing in a hospital. I ...

Hi there! Roaring of the bullet-train darkened his toughts. “Finally, the moment has come”, leaked succesfuly, as he tried his best. This makes no sense to me at all. Did ...

Hi there! Sorry it took me a little longer to get here. But here I am no matter :) I was going to comment on your first chapter, but I ...

Hi there! So your characters have been going on this journey for a few chapters now. It's great to watch them go through this. Although it might be a bit ...

Hi there! You're dedicated sage is here for another review. Although she does realize that she should probably get back to reviewing your new chapters closer to the actual time ...