Nefer

I liked this poem alot, it reminds me of fairy tales. :D I also agree about lines 9-10 not rhyming well.

I'm not sure what this poem is about but I got an image of someone going on a journey. Maybe one that they have wanted to go on all their ...

The first time I read this I didn't like it but I read it again today and it IS quite humourous. But I'm not sure why you strangled her.

Er.. quite a confusing poem. I think it's about someone wanting something and when they get it they don't want it. I just want you to want me Because that's ...

And sometimes I can be dramatic and spill out tears, saying I am sad Wanted to believe I'm sad, but no, You make me dig deeper into myself To find ...

All your posts have capitals, it does tend to get annoying. But if no one else complains you can go on writing in capitals.

Before I even begin to think about reviewing this, please can you not have your titles in capitals!

I've read the first two paragraphs and it's not bad. I like how you described the 'little ripples'. I will add a proper review when I have more time.

You're welcome. :D And you might want to think about posting a new topic for each chapter otherwise some people might miss them.

I agree with Nox and Boni Bee, your story is starting to get better the more you write and it's always good to write about peoples feelings. And Nox's critics ...

Now that I've read the prose version I understand this alot better. Nice work although you have a few spelling mistakes, eg 'poor' is actually meant to be 'pour'.

I also enjoyed reading this. I can't say anything Nox hasn't said already. If I do see something she didn't point out I'll post then. Good story.

Yes, to me the solar system IS beautiful for reasons I can't explain. When I read: It takes place in a land of poverty, A beautiful place, Beaches without water, ...

My favourites include: Nicholas Nickleby - Charles Dickens Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens Frankenstein - Mary Shelley Wuthering heights - Emily Brontë

I liked it. :D It was short and simple and rhymed, I usually don't like rhymes but if you continue to write like this maybe I'll change my mind.