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Young Writers Society



The Very Last Delivery

by Sohini


It was eight o’ clock in the evening by my wrist watch. The street was empty, the streetlights-dim. I had never been to that part of the town before. Strange, old fashioned houses with unkempt gardens lined the street. I was supposed to deliver a letter to house number 39- my last delivery for the day. As I walked along the street looking for house number 39, I felt a cold silence in the air, though it was the blazing month of May. Not a leaf stirred, no stray cat walked past me. I felt butterflies fluttering wildly in my stomach.

Suddenly I heard distinct footsteps behind me. They echoed in the silence. I turned around. No one. Not even a stray dog. Not a soul. Assuming that my imagination was at its zenith, I kept walking. The footsteps were following me again. They grew louder and heavier and were gaining on me. I turned around and found no one again. This always happens in stories and movies, I told myself and I was more than sure that I wasn’t a part of any story nor was I in the cast of any movie. It seemed rather bizarre. Maybe someone wants to scare me, I thought and so gathering all my courage I continued my search for house number 39.

I glanced at the sky. There was a glowing crescent moon among the sparkling silver stars-a lovely sight. I was completely mesmerized by the soft radiance of the moon, when something slimy touched my shoulder. I turned around to my find myself face to face with a creature. I screamed. It had a hair raising grotesque face with three ugly eyes bulging out and a big green lipless mouth. It was wearing a mauve space suit and it had two slimy tentacles for hands. It opened its scary mouth and said in plain English, “I am going to eat you,” instead of the usual ‘take me to your leader.’

Terrified, I stood rooted to the spot staring at it and then I realized something. The creature was sniggering and I knew the snigger. It was the unmistakable snigger of my brother, Ridz. I calmed down and Ridz opened his mask. We laughed for a while over the incident. I appreciated his prank and the life like costume. Then debating over his next prank victim, we walked towards house number 39, which lay just across the street.

Like the rest of the houses in the street, it too was old fashioned and strange, only it had a trifle better garden. I asked Ridz to come along with me with his mask on-we could do with a bit more fun.

All of a sudden there was a very strong gust of wind. I looked up towards the sky and saw something unbelievable. A small, metallic space ship with pale flickering orange lights was heading towards the ground. I stood cemented to the spot, my mind was clogged. Ridz was probably in the same condition. With a loud screeching halt, it landed on the garden of house number 39. Its door opened with an unearthly flip and a creature stepped out of it.

It had a hair raising grotesque face with three ugly eyes bulging out and a big green lipless mouth. It was wearing a mauve space suit and it had two slimy tentacles for hands. It opened its scary mouth and said in plain English, “I am going to eat you,” and inched towards me.

I realized something…it was not wearing a costume and it certainly did not giggle….


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139 Reviews


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Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:17 pm
Torpid says...



I THOUGHT, oh sorry, I thought, it was a 'cute' lil story. it was nice and simple and kinda...silly? It wasnt 'overly' anything but it was entertaining.




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Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:05 pm
Nefer wrote a review...



This should be under Science Fiction if it has anything to do with 'aliens'.

Not 'life like', it's meant to be one word: lifelike.

Sohini wrote:walked towards house number 39


There's not need to repeat 'house' just say: we walked towards number thirty-nine.

Also please write out your numbers! Incorrect: 39, correct: thirty-nine.

Sohini wrote:the garden of house number 39

Again it is not necessary to repeat 'house number 39'.

Maybe you could have described the alien a bit more, just saying it was grotesque doesn't really bring up a picture of an alien to mind. Revise the whole section and add more description!

Somehow this was not really believable especially the ending, you need to give a better view of what things look like, a bit more dialogue would help and maybe a bit about the narrator.




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Sat Oct 15, 2005 3:10 pm
J. Haux says...



It just makes it harder to read. This should also probably be under Science Fiction.




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Sat Oct 15, 2005 1:10 pm
Sohini says...



annoying? then i'll have to change.thanx. please do comment on this story.




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Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:56 pm
Nefer says...



All your posts have capitals, it does tend to get annoying. But if no one else complains you can go on writing in capitals.




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411 Reviews


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Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:53 pm
Sohini says...



why on earth? what is wrong with all caps????




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Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:45 pm
Nefer says...



Before I even begin to think about reviewing this, please can you not have your titles in capitals!





The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitudes.
— Viktor Frankl