Myriadne

I agree with matt. I really like the last stanza which is where you truly seem to capture the emotion. Fix the grammar and it would be a lot better ...

Your rhyme scheme is very natural and works well up till the last line which in my opinion doesn't really fit very well. Other than that I found this very ...

I really liked the first stanza. Your use of language is wonderful. I think that maybe it becomes a bit prosaic in the third stanza, but that is probably just ...

Its pohutukawa. Nicely done, u have some beautiful images that really capture the spirit of a "pohutukawa summer." I really enjoyed this.

I really liked this. I disagree with avalon about the "I" in that line. I think it personalises the poem and gives it depth. Not being a fan of "I ...

Very nice, this is so smooth you have put it together really well. Great job.

I really like your metaphor and the sentiment behind your poem. The only way I can see you improving this is by pulling back a little and letting it flow ...

I find this to be rather overwritten. I really liked the first four lines, but after that the poem lost its rythm and began to get weighed down. Maybe you ...

I really liked this, you have some fantastic lines in here like: "A visual tactile", I prefer the second half of the poem. To me the first half seems a ...

Thanks for your comments