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Re: Mile-marker Zero
I agree that the poem might be a bit too long, and that you should check over your spelling because it can be rather confusing. I like what you're attempting ...
Jan 9, 2009 -
Re: Whistling
Well this is a bit different, and I dont like seeing people's efforts going uncommented. I've got to say though, im not sure if i fully understand it. But hey, ...
May 28, 2008 -
Re: A Battling Plane
Blacktiger, was there any need to quote the whole poem for that one comment? I think not. Anyway, the spaces were a bit unnecessary. However, I did quite like the ...
May 28, 2008 -
Re: Dear Houston
Dont change the word homosexuality. As usual with your work, i liked it a lot. I love the opening paragraph especially, its just so visual. Well im proving rather useless, ...
Apr 18, 2008 -
Re: Light At The Edge Of The World
No replies..why ever not? I like this, its very easy to read. I like the imagery of the wind and eagles in the opening stanza. It creates a very distinct ...
Apr 10, 2008 -
Re: It Is Far Better
Brilliantly raw. There is no fussing around, its straight to the point and i LOVE it for it. I read the story behind it on your blog, but even if ...
Apr 10, 2008 -
Re: Startling Presence.
Its better than my first poem, I'll tell you that. You've chosen a very safe structure, which should be re-thought. It creates a flatness which takes away from the meaning ...
Apr 10, 2008 -
Re: Le Ballet Volé
This is interesting. Im not sure i understand it though it must be said. First off, great imagery. It creates an almost uncomfortable tension which i love in poems. I ...
Apr 10, 2008 -
Re: The Quest, Prologue and Chapter One
Im useless at reviewing prose. I dont have the dedication for it. I'll give it a go though, seeing its you. ;) And since im rubbish, you dont need to ...
Mar 9, 2008 -
Re: Poem Deleted
This is good. The only problem i have with it, is that it could possibly have too many questions right bang in the centre. I know you've gone for the ...
Jan 31, 2008 -
Re: One in the Same
Yeah, if a poem is going to be short, it needs to be really hard-hitting to leave an impression. I think what Chevy and Matt says is right, this could ...
Jan 31, 2008 -
Re: Under the Bridges
The rhyme scheme is a bit temperamental. I thought you had established one in the first stanza, but it didnt remain constant like i thought it might. For instance, in ...
Jan 31, 2008 -
Re: Freezing in ecstasy
wheee, i really like this. I mean, its a little cliche (only a little), but its pretty and i like pretty. I particularly like the last stanza, as you've made ...
Jan 31, 2008 -
Re: I'll know by then
Hmm this is pretty good. I think there could potentially be too many questions in it though. I'm not sure if they add positively to the tone of the piece. ...
Jan 29, 2008 -
Re: At least call me, mon amour
hmmm, I do like this, i think. Is there an error here? : Have you heard or Paris, Or is Equal all you can conjure? is it supposed to be ...
Jan 29, 2008
