MiaParamore

It was not well-written but you have a good story. I would like to see where it goes from here. Maybe you should read the piece once more. You will ...

Lovely story!! It is for the first time I couldn't find an error. So good! Though you need to go through the prologue once more!! It has some confusing sentences. ...

I totally agree with Jagged. the tenses were a bit confusing. Just read it again and you will find errors yourself.

No one interested?

I looked down to see the Korth revolver close to me. You mentioned earlier that Korth was a person, so don't call it a "Korth revolver" because it sounds like ...

Thanks Ben and Elinor. i will go through the mistakes.

shubhiloves2write wrote: But why were they crying? We were going to meet after nine months so why did they mourn? Maybe we weren’t going to meet. It's a fantasy dear ...

Thanks LittlePetRock!

Hi FlyingInEbony.Thanks for reviewing. Actually I have just started this with a prologue. I will tell how they befriended and what led to all this but in a flashback/memories Olivia ...

I think I made myself pretty clear in the beginning that this is just a prologue so I am not elaborating on the feelings. I think I told that Olivia ...

I get it now. Hope to read it more. Keep Writing!!!!!

Thank you lakegirls for your kind suggestions. I have edited it and you may like to take a look at it again.

Hi I would love o read it if you can specify rating.Plz..

Oky, she can decide whta she wants so let her. If I made a mistake that doen' mean you will keep on stretching it like a rubber band.

Hi there. Most of the points have already been covered so I need not say something. But there's this one thing. Split this into paras. It looks like a big ...