Meep

I like this, but there's a something lacking. The word choice is impeccable in some places, and lacking in others. The grammar structure seems very colloquial and awkward compared to ...

Hm. This didn't do a whole lot for me. I understand what you're trying to get at, but I think there was too much tell and not enough show. (Yes, ...

I'm scared of the dark, You know that right? All the shadows and shapes, Fill [s]my body[/s] me with fright. I'll lie in my bed, Shaking with fear. Listen to ...

Show, don't tell! Don't jump right in and tell us that the crystal shard can still hold magic, or that it's unusual for a White Mage to befriend a shadow ...

Mmnh. What is "pain," really? Elaborate on it. "Scorching pain" doesn't tell us much. Have you ever been burned, or even picked up a bowl of soup or burnt your ...

Unlike everyone else, I think this poem works in it's simplicity. I don't think it needs to be delved into or expanded at all. It is what it is, and ...

That was really cute! It was very Suess-y, and I liked it. :) Your rhyming was good, except for The Sminks are quite nice, The Sminks could melt ice, But ...

A spot of light in the endless black [...] Blinding light it does not lack Your poem(s) had a lot of rather forced rhyming, but I thought this pair was ...

So make sure you have lots of time before you start! ( AND FOOD!!! ) God's truth, that is. Those books always make me so, so hungry. I loved them. ...

Wow, this was really ... intense, or it would have been. Something about the actual wording is not as good as it could be. I can't put my finger on ...

I have a love of all things red, From roses to [s]red[/s] straw berries. But I have never really fed, Upon the sweetest cherries. Other than that (^), I don't ...

Daz zl ed by white dresses, I brace myself for what lies here with (without?) you. Other than that minor edit, I really don't have any specific ideas about what ...

I think this has a lot of potential; I really liked the take over of Microsoft. :) (*is a Mac user*) However, I think you've got a few problems: First ...

I really like this. It was a little difficult to get into - I wasn't very fond of the first line - but other than that, I found myself really ...

Not all men shower everyday. You ought to. :wink: I didn't like a lot of this; too many weird rhymes. However, I liked the bit about Jesus, Eve and Hilary. ...