Mattie

You did get a little repetitive with the "I" I did like it though especially since it revealed so much and you didn't take forever to let the reader know ...

I enjoyed this from the very start and now you're really doing well. I like the characters and what is happening to them. I hope to read more and I'm ...

I agree with the kissing part. It's either going to be the first time you mentioned it or the last. You have to take one out. I personally think you ...

Chanson...where should I begin? Was it your way of writing? Your style? Your truthfulness by making the story about your life? All these things made your story great, drawing me ...

I think you did good with the imagery too as well as everything else. Rather long, but I enjoyed reading it. The shadows is a great thing to write about ...

I thought this was great like always. :) I just can't seem to get the idea out of my head that what you write sounds just like something I would ...

I too, liked how you wrote it. The only thing is, what is the guy thinking? What's going on in his mind? I'd have to say this is my favorite ...

For one, it sounds just like the Notebook. Two, I thought it was great. Three, I liked the way you wrote it. Four, you did great with describing their life ...

Hey Kayla. I really liked this. I only found: It was dark when we went through the doors that he had threatened to kill me days before. Shouldn't that be ...

I think you do need to cut back on some of that discritption. It does get a little bit boring at times and overwhelming. I do like your view on ...

Hey Firestarter! (I know how mad you get when people write your name wrong!) I like this and wish you would write more. Like Nate said, you really do need ...

I like vampires, I really do. If you read almost everything I've ever written you'll see that it's true. :) Although this is the kind of writing that you would ...

I would have to agree with who Kay-Kay agreed with. :) Your vocab does seem rushed and crammed like you're trying to impress someone just as DarkerSarah had said. I ...

There were quite a bit of akward sentences but that didn't make me not like it because I really did like it. Very poetic just as ohhewwo had said. I ...

I liked this a lot. Not only does it have an unique character but it it also a very well written short story. I think you should post more of ...