A thin, wrinkled woman hobbled into Room 45. She settled herself in the vinyl chair beside the bed.
The elderly man didn't look up. Didn't see her, in fact.
She swallowed, then began a monologue in a voice meant only for him.
**** *****
I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. Remember, dear? You were across the room at Murphy's arguing with another man. I 'm not sure what the topic was, but your face was flushed with excitement, your eyes sparkled with victory in view, your movements mimicked a dance in time to the forcefulness of your words.
And then, you threw your head back and let out an exuberant laugh. It was right then, I think, I felt my heart untie its arteries and veins, and enlarge itself to include your own.
I didn't even know your name. It doesn't sound very smart; does it? Falling in love with a total stranger. It was hardly my choice.
I wonder if you remember the time you took me out to the little cafe at the corner of Oak and Thomas Jefferson.
It was to be casual and you had on a blue and black plaid shirt, and wranglers.
I can't recall what I wore, but I do remember the look in your eyes when you saw me. You told me later that was when you fell in love with me. You said you never stopped falling.
We ordered buffalo burgers that night.
I can still see that elderly couple as they hobbled in holding hands and laughing like teenagers. They sat across the room from us. I remember how you glanced at them and watched as he kissed his wife's wrinkled hand and whispered to her. Then you looked at me, and remarked: 'Isn't it amazing? They've lived their whole life together, and they still are so in love.'
I forget what I said, but then you grinned your funny lopsided grin, and I wished to somehow capture the moment.
Oh....there are so many memories, aren't there?
Our wedding. You were so handsome in your tux. Our hands trembled throughout the ceremony. Mine were cold.
And our first argument. It's amusing to recall it now. On our way to the hotel, we argued whether the left was on Fairview Road or Rocky Springs Road. I said Fairview,and you said Rocky Springs. I was right, but that didn't matter a few hours later, did it?
I'll never forget the way you looked when our baby was born. You started crying when you held him. You told me that all the love you had for me had just been multiplied to include our sweet little Dale.
Dale was our honeymoon baby, wasn't he? We were so shocked. After you heard I was pregnant, you stared at me a few seconds, let out a whoop, and snatched me up in your arms to do a little dance in your bedroom.
Oh my, I can recall our tenth annniversary as if it were yesterday.
We dropped the children off at my parents, and we dined at the little cafe at the corner of Oak and Thomas Jefferson. We sat at the same little table and ordered the same meal. You took my hand and said, 'Soon we'll be the old couple, sweetheart. And I will love you as deeply ad I loved you the first time we sat in this cafe and as all-encompassing as I love you right this second. I love you, I love you, I love you.'
It wasn't a flowery speech at all, but your heart shone through the dusky brown light in your eyes. I started crying. I said I could see us as a little old couple, and I wasn't scared of being old at all, because I'd be with you, and that was all I cared about.
That was when you got a dust speck in your eye and started blinking very fast.
Oh, my darling, there are so many memories, aren't there?
*** *****
The bent old man still stared vacantly, his empty gaze on the nursing home wall.
The tiny elderly woman at last fell silent.
The late afternoon sun threw a sudden slash of light into the dim room. It fell across his shoulders, over the space between the two, and landed on her hopeful face. Her eyes slowly filled once again with a weary sadness.
He suddenly looked up, noticing her for the first time. 'I'm sorry,' he wheezed. I didn't see you.' An 85-year-old version of his lopsided grin lighted up his face. I hope you haven't been waiting long. I don't believe we've met before.'
'No, not long at all.'
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This reminded me of the notebook and I enjoyed every moment while reading it. It was bittersweet and showed what true love is. It was sad but in a way it made me happy; happy to know that true love is out there and it still exists
Lots of love Jenn aka hockeyfan87
Hey bcain!
This is a really good story, I liked it, it was romantic and it was sad. Towards the end, I swear my heart was already broker by the story, I loved it. It has this The Notebook vibe in it, try not to fall into it and keep the story original. Your wording is exquisite, I mean, you managed to do prose with a sense of poetry in it which makes the story's words really beautiful. But it quite bothers me because you depended more on that than in other important aspects. You see,it would have been nice if you described the characters a little more, like what they looked like, and a little more of the background.
Another thing is that you repeated the title through the story at least twice, personally, I don't like that, it kind of kills the story. Once is nice though.
I liked the wedding but I would have liked more details in that, show us how everything looked and what made that day even more special. Something else, you keep telling us the things the main character did with him but you don't give us feelings, give us more feelings, like what was she feeling when they were arguing or when they first met. Give the story a little more feeling.
So that's all, I really liked your story.
XOXO
Pudin
Wow that was great. And My world is right again. This may sound sexest but evey guy I've ever met are nothing like the guys on here. These guys are such amazing writers, and about love! But you are a girl and I finally understand. But on to your story. It was very touching and I am growing to love short stories wich I couldn't stand an hour ago.
Until next time, Stay In Love With Love.
For one, it sounds just like the Notebook. Two, I thought it was great. Three, I liked the way you wrote it. Four, you did great with describing their life and vived imagery about what they did and where. The only complaint is that you say what they looked like when they were young. I know you said what they wore, but what did they actaully look like? Like eye, hair, skin ect.? That would make it so much better if you were to include something like that and then when she's telling the story you make that part of your tale. Which you sort of did with the speck in his eye. I liked that part. Hope to read more from you. This was really good and make me sad.
I really like this part:
And our first argument. It's amusing to recall it now. On our way to the hotel, we argued whether the left was on Fairview Road or Rocky Springs Road. I said Fairview,and you said Rocky Springs. I was right, but that didn't matter a few hours later, did it?
So many guys don't like asking for directions or listening to a woman, do they?
oh, ok. one flaw. the title. something more...romantic. and pretty, like the story.
i loved this. it was an interesting subject. it reminded me of movie-type love but you made it realistic. i used to write stories like this, before i decided to become hip and cool and not capitilize my letters and write as if i know something about anything. this was good and it made me so sad.
the best part, for me, was:
"It was right then, I think, I felt my heart untie its arteries and veins, and enlarge itself to include your own."
because i have tried to write that a hundred times, and you nailed it.
Not many stories can make me as sad as this. Well done.
This was an interesting way to illustrate their life as lovers. I could tell that you had put a lot of thought into this. Great job