MamaLama95

I like what you're trying to portray; however, the last lines of your stanzas are so forced, it's making me physically gag. Change those, definitely, because you're desperately trying to ...

I quite liked the poem - it was a nice idea, but it got really boring by the middle. No punctuation or correct use of grammar bothered me to no ...

This was quite a good poem. Aside from the usual nitpicking on punctuation, grammar, etc. I'd say you used a great rhyme scheme that was appropriate to the story - ...

Hello. So, I'll be picky, as my inherently dark and cynical nature requires me to be. It's a good poem. But it's far from perfect. You've taken a very important ...

I can see what story you're trying to portray here, and it's a nice idea; however, I don't think you do it justice. The poem lacks some sort of imagery, ...

I think this is good - you have some nice images in there and they provoke a lot of thought, but leave room for personal interpretation. I'm not too sure ...

Overall, I think this was a very beautiful poem - it had a charming lyrical touch to it and you made it quite fantastical, which I enjoyed. Some lines I ...

I quite liked this work, it was an interesting idea and you developed it nicely. I think the poem length was ideal for it's purpose, and you gave it a ...

Personally, I thought the last stanza was the best - beautiful, deep, meaningful, and although it was bordering on cliche, you saved yourself with a clever phrasing. Overall, very nice, ...

This is one of those poems I'll read in the middle of the night, with my eyes half-closed, frown plastered on my forehead and exasperation clouding my vision - but ...

You made some serious grammatical errors, for example; She shoulder shimmy This should be phrased differently, or you should find a way to describe the movement in a different manner, ...

I just read this two times over because I thought it was that powerful. Stunning imagery, a beautiful story and theme, and wonderful use of different poetic techniques, enjambment, etc. ...

It's an original idea, but I don't think you've utilized it's potential to the maximum. You could have put a nice twist on it, or some clever images - instead ...

Technically, this is quite a good poem - you have a good grasp on vocab, grammar and punctuation. One remark; I think you could do with a little more flow. ...

Alright - I'll be extremely and painfully honest here. That was not a good poem. Your wording was off, there was good flow up until the end of the first ...