Maki-Chan

COOL! This is really awsome. I want to read more. Its perfect, but I have a request could you check this out? Its a prologue too, and since this is ...

Not bad but for a prologue its too much, too detailed, too straight forward. If I am correct its showing a bit into the future? Cause if it is I ...

first it talks of sadness, then how people see you, then its about another person, then its how they changed. It just keeps on jumping. Sort of confusing. But other ...

hmm... not bad but I have no clue what is happening. Why is Gatame in chains? Why is Tren looking for Gatame? Who is the general? But if i am ...

:shock: gasp..... you should space out the paragraphs and maybe split this into smaller parts. Like (Story name) chapter 1 part 1, and (story's name" chapter 1 part 2. If ...

Well for one thing can you space it out a bit- please? its hard for me to read. Anyways I thought it was interesting. Your metaphores are awsome! Though you ...

Well I personally think fire is somehting we will never fully understand. But some of your ideas about it was pretty deep, and I'd saw a lot closer than what ...

I think its pretty awsome. I never really read peoms like this. Its a firsty, and I enjoyed it. ^_^ enjoy the face! _____________ ________________ U U X ______________________ _

Hmm, interesting title. Not too bad, but this part. And the darkness will have won. just doesn't really go well with it. maybe its the word 'won'. I don't know. ...

Summer is a sequence of warm delicate breezes. Summer is the pitcher, filled with cool ice tea. Summer is the warm wind, sweeping everything along in it's wake Summer is ...

:?: I'm confused. What is this about. I thought he was hurting you, but I was wrong. Its too confusing to follow. Its out of place and nothing really makes ...

I like, but like so many others I am afraid of closed together writing. You should space it out more. It helps draw those reviewers out. Don't worry I was ...

i like it. ^_^ nice job. :D :) :( :o :shock: :? 8) :lol: :x :P :oops: :cry: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :wink: :!: :?: :idea: :arrow:

It gave me a good feeling. Made me feel happy- yet sad( hmmm?). I liked it. 'Send shivers up my spine' I've seen this way too many times- maybe you ...

:smt055 wow..... I loved it. There's something about it that I need to have more of. This is something I would exspect to read out of a book. MORE MORE!!! ...