Hmm, interesting title. Not too bad, but this part.
And the darkness will have won.
just doesn't really go well with it. maybe its the word 'won'. I don't know.
Its probably just me. other wise nice job ^_^
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I sit in the dark, in the suffocating gloom.
Wishing for the warming heat of the sun.
Without it, the flower of my despair will begin to bloom.,
And the darkness will have won.
I crave the light, the glowing orb
that shines anew each morn.
I want the sunlight, to have and to hoard,
The gift of light reborn.
I'm still working on it, so please don't judge it to harshly
Hmm, interesting title. Not too bad, but this part.
And the darkness will have won.
Thanks for the critic. For anyone who is curious about the title, it's rough latin for "peace of the light".
Your title is curious. Pax de Luc? What language is that? "La Pax" is barbarians in French, but then that makes no sense? haha.
I sit in the dark, in the suffocating gloom.
Wishing for the warming heat of the sun.
Without it, the flower of my despair will begin to bloom.,
And the darkness will have won.
"I want the sunlight, to have and to hoard, the gift of light reborn." I like this, but it also confuses me. How is sunlight... light reborn? I'm kind of lost on what you are trying to say.I crave the light, the glowing orb
that shines anew each morn.
I want the sunlight, to have and to hoard,
The gift of light reborn.
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