Speakers’ Corner
For Patricia and the Reading School Public Speaking Team.
He inhales the cool,
crisp afternoon air that cleanses him
as he scans his audience,
waiting to begin.
The script he has rehearsed for so long
now surges forth;
the magician infuses his silent symphony
with tuneful, thrilling, touching
notes of elegance.
Smiling,
he sings to the landscape
with his bold passion and
brilliant energy;
conjures unseen sights,
sounds, tastes
before his listeners.
All with just a stroke of his
swelling soliloquy.
These are the words that will last
a Lifetime.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hard to critique your poem properly. Know why? Because it's so good! I love your word choice (inhales, siloloquoy, etc.) and your line breaks. Excellent!
AH! Don't listen! (sorry Niteowl
) The details are great! Love it love it. Don't change a thing.
I think this was good, but you used too many adjectives in some spots. "The cool, crisp afternoon air," "Touching, tuneful, thrilling notes". Description is good, but so many adjectives in a row makes the reader lose touch with the image. Choose the one (or maybe two) you want the reader to focus on.
Secondly, why did you capitalize Lifetime?
Thirdly, I liked this overall. My favorite lines were
Good job! Keep writing!
I think its pretty awsome. I never really read peoms like this. Its a firsty, and I enjoyed it. ^_^ enjoy the face!
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First to crit your poem, I see. Well, the ryhming is a little off in the second stanza. The first was too short, but it had good rhyming and rythem. Try to add more to the first, or shorten the second a bit. Work on some rhyimg adn rhythem. I hope this helps!
-Rick.