You

by 200397

Published March 12, 2008

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Comments & reviews · 6
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khfan890
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khfan890 commented Comment · Mar 18, 2008

Most of it, I liked. I love the last line, because it's exactly how I feel about somebody I know. Great work!

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blacktiger3915
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blacktiger3915 commented Comment · Mar 12, 2008

I liked it, but it was sooooo corny. I heard a million of these kind of poems in my lifetime. If you really had gave it some thought, it would have been a winner. Good luck and hope to read some more.

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OblivionShadow
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OblivionShadow commented Comment · Mar 12, 2008

i agree with the comment about shivers. Its very cliche at this point. However, for the rest of the poem is well written i love how you bring it to the table. I can relate too so i enjoyed reading. thank you.

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azure
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azure wrote a review Review · Mar 12, 2008

This is a nice poem but to tell you the truth, it seemed plain. My suggestion would be to add some metaphors, add some more poetic words. This is a nice poem, you don't have to rewrite the whole poem, just add a little more how should I put this? spice? I hope that my suggestion will help! Keep on writing!

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Maki-Chan
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Maki-Chan wrote a review Review · Mar 12, 2008

It gave me a good feeling. Made me feel happy- yet sad( hmmm?). I liked it.


'Send shivers up my spine' I've seen this way too many times- maybe you can shift it towards a unique style of your own? Maybe?

Besides that pretty damn awsome. :D



trust your heart if the seas catch fire (and live by love though the stars walk backward)
— E.E. Cummings