LowKey

Mwaha! I have caught up! Flogging always gives me the creeps, so now Thomas is exceptionally creepy. he checking out his sister? More creep points for him. Also, the slitting ...

He gasped [s]but[/s] only for his stomach to suddenly spiral upward into his chest and his head to feel as though it would break in two, and he saw the ...

Really liked this chapter. It seems you're more at ease when you're writing with Judah and Adam. Everything seems more natural in their scenes. Words flow better, and your characters ...

So Molly and Thomas -- brother and sister? Or just friends? *guesses* All in all, good chapter. Molly's interactions with Thomas and Justin gave her more of a personality, and ...

Hullo! Sorry this took so awful long in coming... I've an unbelievable load of school work this quarter... thus, my sudden little bit of activity in the forums, lol. Onward! ...

Snakeman must die. Amazing how you can make someone hate a character so instantly. The dancer.... that was interesting. I'm wondering where this'll lead and what it means? Can't wait. ...

Come back to me. He leaned forward and kissed her. There was an awful choking noise over his face, and he heard the crunching of leaves as someone pulled away ...

Molly returned and quickly poured many glasses and passed them through the crowd. The men drank quickly and slowly calmed down. Just a personal thing, but 'many glasses' irks me. ...

This was awesome. I hardly know anything about the character and how he got there, but I don't care all that much because you gave just enough information for the ...

Hullo! I'm coming in with fresh eyes, so I haven't read your first draft of this chapter yet. I want to give you my thoughts on this first. Critiquing as ...

I got who the narrator was after I finished the first paragraph, but I still enjoyed it. It's not very often that I catch a story narrated by an inanimate ...

Hallo. :D There's not a lot here to critique. I'm thinking it's in the forum rules where it says that your posts should be between 500 and 1500 words long. ...

Leblanc, a city made of gold. A city where the rich live and the poor beg. Huge golden gates awaited him as he approached the golden city. His clothes damp ...

My brother has a gun, I saw myself. He isn't fun anymore, he doesn't sleep. Wierd people pick on him now, I'm to small all I can do is watch. ...

Hallo! :D We Who fly higher than the angels We Whose voice reaches farther than the wolves’ song We Whose courage is that of a lion We Whose wishes light ...