Loose

Great great great great great! And I don't mean your story is great. I mean you use the word "great" enough times to make someones head explode. Look in a ...

Ok, here we go. I was looking at the clear blue sky as he was telling me that his love for me, wasnt the same love i had for him. ...

**collapses** Writing Checklist: -Punctuation -Spelling -Appropriate Capitals **searches for them in the piece** **fails miserably** Your "i"s should be "I" There should be periods. Correct spelling a

Wow, this was a very good chapter. Definately change the rating to R before you get into trouble ;) The only thing that bugged me, and I mean reeeaally bugged ...

Well, it seems I got here a bit late and it's already been critiqued to breaking point. The only thing I should say really, that I can say without repeating, ...

Hmm, interesting. Definately change the rating! This shouldn't be pg with the mention of rape, sex, dicks. I loved the part about the eyes, though. "Honey coloured" was a pretty ...

Ooo, fresh new talent, me sees. That is the reason I'm sitting here on my second-hand couch writing this. While my tomato soup runs cold, I keep on recollecting the ...

Quote: my pyjamas It would be awesome if there were pajama's made out of pie, but since I doubt there are I think you should change that. =) hehe, it ...

Just passing through... I noticed this when I was glancing over at who was online... strong Joe, who had lived well into his tens, Ten is one number, there can't ...

this was cute, but something that killed the image for me was: The only thing that wasn't totaled was the purple coat in the trunk. Totaled doesn't belong there. It ...

Critique time! **cracks knuckles** There's something I notice in almost everything you write. The lack of the capitals. Sentence by sentence... Jack pulled the black velvet heart shaped box out ...

This may be because I'm fussy, but I found a few things I had issues with that the others didn't. They told me that I must buy them, but what ...

Alrighty **cracks knuckles** Lets begin. I've had this link open about 2 minutes and I've already found a few minor things... She did, she spun and spun and spun as ...

Allow your imagination to run wild, and become an entirely different person in a world where dry land is only a myth, and salty sea water stretches as far as ...

In the sub-zero apartment lay a womanly seventeen year old girl with espresso brown hair lay snoozing on her bare mattress. There are two things I don't like in that ...