Litehawk

I think what Timmy meant was that he wante to see how his death would affect others but he wouldn't be able to find out because he'd be dead, so ...

This poem would be okay with me if it were dedicated to a girl, but you dedicated it to god... A being with the aleged power to change these things. ...

Forgive me if the spacing is a bit off right now, I am posting this on my phone. She smiled at him. It was a warm sort of smile, absent ...

the eyes of a loved one their touch lingering on your lips It seems as if you're saying the eyes' touch is lingering on the lips. as cool as a ...

You've got to put more emotion into it, you're just stating rhyming facts. Come on, put feeling into it. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! (That was enthusiastic, not hostile :P)

Upon our first touch of lips, all the doubts stowed in my mind, your skin confined to my finger's tips, but still my doubts to hide behind. This line didn't ...

It really didn't make much sense. To me it feels like you threw a bunch of phrases together into a stanza, and just kept doing that the whole way through. ...

You have quite a bit of work to do on this piece... I really liked the last line, but the whole stanza was a mess... It was confusing, and too ...

I think I see what's going on in this story. It's not what the words are saying, or the picture it puts in your mins, bur what's underneath it. A ...

Chaos is order, as order is chaos. Very nice contrast... A clash between the titans, Mother Earth versus its kin. Man versus the universe, in an epic duel to win. ...