Lindsaroo

I do agree that it is slightly redundant, but I actually liked this. I think that it being all together and not seperated into stanzas was slightly hard on the ...

This is really nice. I really don't have anything to say about it except that I had to read it over one or two times to really understand the meaning. ...

Ok I actually like this a bit. I agree that something major like the alchohol should be closer to the begining. Maybe if you were trying to avoid it and ...

Um...okay... This is ok, but really, is it going anywhere? Is this just like the beginning to your story or something? Or is it just that? I don't think you ...

When i tell you how the world has, Fallen by my cold feet, and how my life Is ruined, and how i feel, I didn't like this part very much. ...

I like how you did this over again. It's much nicer. I didn't see it as her mother dying but more as her mother just leaving. But now that you ...

Ok, you had strong imagery here, but not really in the desired way. I saw everything you talked about, but it didn't ever click together for me. Like everything happening ...

I agree that with all those nice words it does make it seem more like it's great and beautiful or whatever, but the point needs to get across. I kind ...

Ok I really couldn't figure out what this was meant to be at all. In the beginning I had an image coming to me but then as I got farther ...

I kind of understand what's going on. But I still don't know that much about Star Wars. It was ok though and I found it kinda funny that you made ...

"If people find out they will think you crazy, They’ll lock you up and make you stop." Should be you're. "Nobody understands, That you are an emo." huh? I really ...

I think that the last stanza had lines that are kinda too long for the poem. But you still works real well. It flowed really nicely and had nice imagery. ...

I really don't know how I feel about this one. I think it's too rushed. If you give it some length and fluff it out more it could be really ...

Done, done, onto the next one Because this one's the same one as the last A sad yearning for a different past Scribble it up, discard it, it's done Done, ...

Boo! :roll: Ok...this is really good! ^_^ I love vampire stuff first of all and I think it has great potential. Atemus seemed a bit out of it and stuff ...