Leonheart

like Clau and Fand said, its too short, and not really a poem. its a few words, yep, written like a poem, yep, but that doesn't make it a poem. ...

ill go through each paragraph, highlight the bits i think needs work and have a look after the paragraph is finished Cold, warm. Loud, quiet. Dull, bright. Two naturally selected ...

I don't think this works. if you're going to create a poem that works around the topic of cheating, then the poem has to evoke some sort of emotion in ...

maybe it's my intelligence, but i don't understand this poem in the slightest. and thats not a good thing with poetry, theres no point in writing anything if its not ...

Stop it you guys. The poem my sound boring, but it is good. It talks about an experiance many of us can relate to. please don't argue with a critique, ...

didnt like it. sorry, but thats my view. it didnt always flow, i thought the topic was bland, and the imagery didnt work. the second or third verses didnt work ...

long-winded.... very long winded. but for once, it works. i agree with everyone else, it needs punctuating. some of the things just need breaking up to make it easier to ...

i didnt find it too emotional, not like it could have been. and why is this rated R? the legnth keeps jumping around a lot... you have short lines, then ...

i think there is a good use of imagery in this. i got a good insight with the things you said. i didn't really like it though. the imagery was ...

long winded, boring. i didn't like it. there was lack of imagery, which a poem needs. like Phorcys said, its very much like a story. and even as a story ...

thanks for the credit! yeah, this was a joint plot idea between the two of us, that really never got used, but as far as im concerned, we re-wrote the ...

loved it, and ive read through all the critiques, i dont have anything to add. its just superb writing, and great imagery. very creepy, but that just makes it all ...

i have to admit, without reading the rest of the topic, i didn't understand this. yes, it's good imagery, yes, it's very well written, but i couldn't, and still can't ...

i have to agree with Claudette, there wasn't a lot of flow in some places. i also agree with that part that she liked, i enjoyed that myself. i think ...

good use of imagery, i thought it was excellently done. sometimes it didn't flow to me. some lines, especially at the start, seemed very long winded. for the topic, yeah, ...