Leja

Oh cool, I was just looking at your original post in Writers Corner ^_^ Please excuse me if I don't critique in Spanish, but... that could severely hinder the process ...

This just seems like novelty, and what wasn't novelty sounded like ranting. The 'sentence' (I don't know what I can call it for a poem XD)structure was interesting at times, ...

There are so many actions here, and not too much beyond that, causing me to read it more like a paragraph with line breaks than a poem. It's kind of ...

But I won't sick in this stormy weather Did you mean "I won't stick" or "I'm sick" ? Or did you actually mean "I won't sick"? I as well am ...

I'm a fan of the intangible/ abstract (like "coach of silence") but I think there's too much here. I'd be more interested in how the "whispers gathered into his soul" ...

I'm sure the girl you're reading this to will appreciate it, but it doesn't have many poetic elements within it. It seems like the kind of typical thing that a ...

I liked the part at the beginning; the questioning of what is being defined. Very nice: Insecurity The sound of it In- Secure- Meaning What follows is alright, but a ...

I like the techniques in it; the alliteration, and maybe even the rhyming (which normally, I absolutely detest), but I don't know if the subject really goes anywhere? She's like ...

I'm not a big fan of repetition, but here it might work. Can't quite decide if it does at the moment, but it could. Within the repetition, however, I'm not ...

I think the premise is good, but there are parts that could be better. What I really like: -"You laid the words upon my lips" Just plain lovely imagery ^_^ ...

I think this would be better without the rhyme. Personally, I wouldn't say a bass roars at all. And I don't think there's enough expansion here to justify letting the ...

I found alot of these phrases to be of the overused, devoid of meaning type. "I feel numb" What does it mean to feel numb? It's a word used so ...

I thought that the rhyming words at the beginning of each stanza were an interesting idea, but it was too obvious that they're meant to stand out. Much cooler if ...

Having rain be blatantly related to cleansing and such is... overdone. You might also want to consider trying this without the rhyme scheme. Peace is a dove who spreads peace ...

I adore your descriptions. You certainly have an ear for them because there's a lovely balance of description and action. The only thing that stood out was this phrase: She ...