KatTrain

I'm going to go against the grain and say "hell yes" to the first two stanzas. They really make sense to me. "my chest (COMMA) against your bed," "where words ...

It’s long and it swishes The frills of lace (COMMA) the rolls of ivory It’s like a dance with a single person A song with one note so beautiful, And ...

Hi, I'm Kat :) Moving on... The beginning is a bit rough. There's just not much poetry to it. For example "Pulled several all-nighters" just doesn't sound like it belongs ...

You have to know when it's ok to make fun of your friends, to point at people, This stanza could be more flow-y if that makes any sense to chill ...

I agree, the title is too unoriginal for such a unique piece. If you're going to use 'Love' as your title, don't include it in you poem. Like this: Love ...

Ach! Again! Do it again, put more pressure on me darling. Skin me Softly, like the poor this line and the following line don't flow well, they seem thrust into ...

Liar, liar, Heart on fire, Tell me what you really feel. Liar, liar, Heart on fire, What is fake and what is real? You tell me that you never cared, ...

I see with my eyes, unnecessary, we already know this so dry from lack of sleep, this is very un-poetic description but do not feel, in my heart and my ...

Heaven’s a bad place to be, At least if you're as broken as me. this line is too lone If the tears you cry are fake, why would they be ...

My stomach is turning, and spinning very fast. My head is pounding, like a bomb about to blast. My hands are sweating, smoldering, very charred. the 'very charred' sounds awkward, ...

That's my name! :D I’ll be here for you. delete the period or put a comma after the word 'meaning' When your eyes haze over, And you are blind To ...

My dagger isn’t sharp at all; My gun doesn’t even shoot. , comma instead These lines are very clever, they hook you right form the beginning. Yet I am vicious. ...

Wow! I posted a critique and it didn't show up! ughhhh I wish I was a stone. I wish I were* a stone Cold, unfeeling, dead, stones can't be alive ...

I wrote you a sad song, But then I burnt it, add some imagery to your lines I bought you a present, But then returnt it, you can put ''return'd' ...

This verbal portrait You've painted with soft words. comma I can see it right in front of me. The smell of her silk washed hair reaches my nose. comma And ...