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Re: Passé
*Is summoned* I read this, and thought of doing a close reading, but I think the problems that exist here require a more meta approach. The improvement is needed in ...
Sat Jan 02, 2016 7:20 am -
Re: 11:59
Hey. Not sure if we've met before, it's been a while since I've been around. I have to say, you've come a fair way since I first saw your stuff ...
Fri Jan 01, 2016 11:02 am -
Re: Built like a sea
Hey Hugo. Welcome to YWS. I dig what you're going for here. Peaceful and friendly during the day, like a family beach holiday. Chaotic and dangerous at night, like a ...
Sat Jan 03, 2015 11:13 am -
Re: Why I believe in God.
I have no idea how you could possibly classify this as poetry. The only thread connecting it to any form of poetry is the 5/7/5 syllable pattern of a Western ...
Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:36 pm -
Re: Silver dawn
Hey, sorry it's been so long, I totally forgot that you asked me to do this. Ok, so it's alright, I see where you're going with this. You have some ...
Sun Jan 19, 2014 3:11 pm -
Re: Endless Summer
Ok so I lied, it's been like three days since I said I'd look at this. But I made it eventually. You know prose isn't my strong suit, but here ...
Wed Jan 01, 2014 4:01 pm -
Re: Weather
Hey Nargles. Quick word on the formatting; try pressing shift+enter for line breaks, and enter for stanza breaks. Ok, so poem. I see where you're going here, but you can ...
Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:24 am -
Re: The Perpetually Incriminating Uncertainty of Us
Hi. Welcome to the party. Ok, so I almost didn't read this because of its length. Not that a really long poem is bad (in fact many of my favourite ...
Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:54 am -
Re: Good or Evil? (updated)
I'm not really sure why this is filed under 'poetry'. It's lacking pretty much everything that a piece of writing requires to be categorised as poetry. Actually, I'm not sure ...
Thu Nov 28, 2013 2:23 pm -
Re: the carpenter's son
Hey there. Ok, so prose poetry. Why prose poetry? Not that there is anything wrong with prose poetry, but why not normal free verse? Now the actual poem. You know, ...
Wed Nov 27, 2013 2:59 pm -
Re: Price of Living=Pain
Hey capt. K here. I'm proud of you for writing about this sort of thing. I know it takes some guts. Good to hear you're doing alright now. Let's talk ...
Sun Nov 24, 2013 6:05 am -
Re: Shelter
Hey. K here. Ok I'm not really feeling this. It's just... senseless really. I mean, there are threads of ideas, but nothing that can really be considered a theme. This ...
Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:57 am -
Re: Memories on Grave.
Hi DreamWork, To be honest I'm not all that thrilled by this. The topic is pretty good, as topics go, but you miss the mark I think. There's a lot ...
Sun Nov 17, 2013 6:55 am -
Re: Chasing Neon Stars
Hey. Sorry it took me so long to do this one. Ok, so I'm not digging it much. With the exception of a very small number of masters of the ...
Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:29 am -
Re: Peep Show
Hey Twit, sorry this one took me so long. I dig the sentiment, simple though it may be (there is, of course, nothing wrong with simplicity). What I don't like ...
Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:01 am
