Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin on how there is great uses of alliteration in this poem and how some people could relate since the inside of most people's brains are like an ocean, bouncing off the rocks and going back into their place in business.
Nitpick(s):
The only problem that i might see in this poem would maybe be how you sorta repeated (but said a different way), the salt, the sand, the sun almost sounds like the whacking, the water, the weed. i think maybe you are using that as repetition or something.
the whacking, the warping wrath I don't think the word -whacking could describe waves since when i hear of whacking, i think of an woodsmen cutting down a tree with an ax or something. Maybe use something like -whispering or -washing... just a suggestion.
Overall, i believe that every poem has it good points like the alliteration example: thewind, the water, and the weed since it gives the poem a beat to follow and well-written. Also how our brains could be a wave; washing off the old memories away. while still keeping the new ones with us.
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
Points: 6130
Reviews: 257
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