KJ

I feel like this is really unorganized. Your MC's mind is going everywhere all at once. You need smoother transitions, and make sure everything is all connected and makes sense ...

To begin with the negative, you mention blood way too much. We get it, it's a battlefield; it's going to be bloody. Second, your wording. This seems to me like ...

I didn't spot any typos or grammar errors that hadn't already been pointed out, so guess I'll just give you my overall opinion: I don't really understand the butterflies. No ...

Isaac climbed the stairs warily, his fingers gently intertwining with Lara’s. He looked back at her for a split second. What was he doing? [This should probably be in Italics] ...

The only thing I really noticed that stuck out like a sore thumb was this: The young guard stood their shifting from foot to foot as he waited for Evelyn ...

Here as you requested, as a thanks for your previous reviews to my work :) They weren't cruel, but rather gentel and kind Gentle , not gentel . And I ...

Something I forgot to mention in Part One: Olaf's name. It just doesn't work for me, because of A Series of Unfortunate Events. Count Olaf? You read it? Well, it ...

You have a talent, that's for sure. Just a few things: I thought the part where you told us of the Goddess killing all the others powerful Gods was too ...

Only thing I really spotted that was worth pointing out was this small blurb: The silver fence shined under the sunlight that made its way past the clouds. Should be ...

As the others said, very unique. I liked how it was in 'The Place's' point of view. A few tips: Reread your post once it's out. There were several typos ...

Maybe I'm just immature and dumb, but I really didn't understand half this story. I do like how quirky and unique your MC is, but he confused me pretty often. ...

This would be much better if (can't believe I'm going to say this) you drag it out. Instead of telling us everything, make it a STORY, as I'm sure you ...

JUST A FEW NITPICKS: “What the hell is wrong with you? You dropped a plate; it’s not a big deal.” She said Jut a punctuation mistake here. Should be: It's ...

Hey. I didn't read the piece yet, because I have to get to class, but I thought I should let you guys know that The Awakening is the title of ...

"Are you done staring?" the woman suddenly asked in a sparrow-like voice. This is the only thing that really stuck out like a sore thumb to me. How is her ...