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Re: Cracking Calcium (Poem 3 0f 50 for Pengu)
Jonnie-yoz, Juneth here, The butterfly doesn't transform -- only our perception. Word this better! This sounds really boring, and I even would've preferred this is if you said "The butterfly ...
Jan 17, 2010 -
Re: light will be my stepping stone.
Heeeey, Eddie! 1100th review, as promised. :) Let's see, I like this, for plenty of reasons, namely because it comes off stronger than your others, carries on strongly and has ...
Jan 17, 2010 -
Re: Celestia
Hi, Dradian! June here :) I quite like this! Some parts of it were really pretty, such as the second stanza. I love creative images like that; they make me ...
Jan 17, 2010 -
Re: Pure
Hullo, Emmy! I have to say that I don't quite understand this poem. From my standing point, it sounds a bit as if someone is in strong denial, but in ...
Jan 17, 2010 -
Re: Delm(I'm searching for a better title) Chapter 5
Rachel! Hello! June here, let's see what we can do about this. :) This, for the most part, is pretty good because I can see the story coming along nicely ...
Jan 17, 2010 -
Re: Visions Only Dreamed
Long time, no see, talk, anything. You should be around more. Honestly. ;) Anyway, review time: > On Structure (I know, it's annoying of me, but structure is half the ...
Jan 15, 2010 -
Re: [Deleted]
Hey, Pepper! Beh, I had a detailed, perhaps rambly, perhaps 30% useless review writ out, and Mozilla got a little hungry and had a snack. Rudely so, too, and didn't ...
Jan 15, 2010 -
Re: Frost Tangible
Antimel, Some may argue with me, but I do believe you have crafted a wonderful poem here. It's very delicate, soft spoken in both words, structure, and even font size. ...
Jan 14, 2010 -
Re: A maiden's woe
Aha! This is the poem you referred to! I must say, this is beautiful. Wonderful use of old English, excellent rhyme, adequately placed, too, as standard rhyme was more customary ...
Jan 14, 2010 -
Re: Oh My (THe Concussion)
Oh, dear. Hello! Goodness, this is one of the most original poems I've seen in a long time. I'm not quite sure what to make of it! It was really ...
Jan 14, 2010 -
Re: War Stories
Hey there! I'm going to backup Antimel here and say that I do agree with her on the fact that, yes, some of the ways that you construct your lines ...
Jan 14, 2010 -
Re: Five Bikers
Tiiiiimmmy, I hope that doesn't sound like a brain-craving zombie... I liked your other poem! So, naturally, I was quite delighted to find out that you had posted this, and ...
Jan 14, 2010 -
Re: The Lions
Hey, Antimel! Decent. > On structure, You're good. I would recommend removing capital letters at the beginning of lines, unless it's a proper noun, because you're putting emphasis where it's ...
Jan 14, 2010 -
Re: The Banners Torn
Hey, there! I would say that this poem was decent. For me, there isn't too much in it that sticks out to me as a strong liking point, and for ...
Jan 14, 2010 -
Re: Magic Fox
Hey, Jenthura! Prose poetry? Fabulous. In the third line, when describing the fox's eyes, do you mean eyes, not a singular eye? Keep an eye on minor things like that, ...
Jan 14, 2010
