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Re: The Notch
Okay. I didn't have time to read the whole story so I'll give you the thoughts that I had up to where I stopped, which was when the dragons were ...
Jan 11, 2014 -
Re: A Fairytale
WOW!!!!!!!! This is an absolutely amazing piece of writing. I loved everything about it. There were a few words that could have been omitted but it wasn't terrible. Most likely, ...
Jan 10, 2014 -
Re: Opportunities
Despite a few interesting word choices, the story was quite well written. I won't point out any of the word choices, tronks covered pretty much all of that. The only ...
Jan 10, 2014 -
Re: Fire
To me it seems as though some of the sentences hold a beat, much like a poem. To maintain this flowing movement for your story, words must be chosen carefully ...
Dec 16, 2013 -
Re: The World Inside
Good job! I loved the meaning behind this poem. I found it very insightful and full of inspiration. Thank you for sharing! I can't wait to read more of your ...
Dec 4, 2013 -
Re: Watch
Good job! I enjoy the comments you inserted into this piece of writing by very accurately describing life and what it means. I love how you end this piece of ...
Dec 4, 2013 -
Re: Let it Bleed
Wow. This is pretty good. Though it's short, it successfully, and entirely brings into perspective that which you describe. It is a blunt paragraph, meant only to describe how you ...
Dec 4, 2013 -
Re: Live in the moment
Wow. This was really good. I was very impressed with the imagination put into it. I especially loved the ending. Though after she was hit by the car it seemed ...
Nov 29, 2013 -
Re: Polluted Romance (First time I ever wrote in second person)
Interesting. I've never read anything in second person. To be honest, I didn't even know there was such thing as a second person point of view. :) All in all, ...
Nov 19, 2013 -
Re: Heart of Stone
First of all, There was no punctuation in this poem resulting in a bit of confusion. "I'm thinking so very much I feel like my heart is made of stone ...
Nov 18, 2013 -
Re: Burn
That was really short. Not always a bad thing, but in this particular poem it might be nice to add another stanza or continue on to explain a bit through ...
Nov 18, 2013 -
Re: A Need for Hope
Wow. This was really good. The rhming was particularly amazing. I find it incredibly hard to rhym withe words like sacrifice and horizon, both of which you used. I didn't ...
Nov 18, 2013 -
Re: The Unnamed one.
First of all, your point of view seems to switch quite a bit at the beginning. Your first paragraph is first person, but then the next four paragraphs are third ...
Nov 15, 2013 -
Re: Dreadnettle Hall #1
I really liked the description in this story. I especially loved how you described the morning sunlight: "...the splintering glowing light of the sunrise." It has really good imagery in ...
Nov 15, 2013 -
Re: Enricketta - Chapter One ( Part 1/2... or 3)
Wow. That's really good. It's captivating and makes me curious about how it's going to turn out. I love how she compares herself with the darkness her only friend. Some ...
Nov 15, 2013
