Jenthura

Well, it has a very unique style, certainly one I've never seen, new words and all that. Well, not new, but old ones used in a new way, Y'no? There ...

Lol, very funny, Z! It ends rather abruptly though, as Kikialicia pointed out. Perhaps you could think up some more funny things and add them on? Also, the bit about ...

Okay, it doesn’t make much sense. No problem, I can still correct your grammar. Under the canopy, the lights are nice, today. You don’t need the comma between ‘nice’ and ...

Alright, despite many spelling and grammar errors (and a few phrases that just plain didn’t make sense) you managed a good story. It’s not too clichéd, but you went so ...

Well, if it’s a part of a novel, then you shouldn’t have put it in General Fiction Short Stories, rather, file it under General Fiction Novels . Now, as a ...

Gah, blockatext attack! Cut it up or double space to make it roomier and less…daunting. It’s a good piece, but it’s rather short for a novel chapter. I say you ...

Very…strange. It is written in a style that sounds like you had a thesaurus open at your side and tried to use as many words as you could (but didn’t ...

Hello there, Shadow. Your story is…primitive, to say the least. I’m here to fix that. I was walking through the High Council, on my way to my office. When I ...

Well, dear, you needn’t bold everything, nor does it need to be centered. Also, those few places probably shouldn’t be blue. It’ll look more like a story this way, since ...

Face shining with sweat and arms trembling, you hold me. Reading it, “Face shining with sweat and arms…” just sounds as though her face is shining with arms. Kinda hard ...

Hmm, if you wanted to do a Star Wars-Star Trek mix reported as news, then you should have written it like real news. Also, the news anchor (the guy talking) ...

I’ve actually read another story on YWS about this. True the story was set in WWII and the girl dies in the end, but the resemblance is too much for ...

Well done! Except for that one line, "First things first, let's put the kettle on and have a cup of tea." It just sounds...crazy. I know the rest of the ...

There's tons of levels and each may take a year or two, depending on if you compete well and stay alive. The whole theme of the game is that each ...

Why is the first paragraph bolded? It doesn’t stay consistent with the rest of the story, since this ‘running’ part seems to be from the cat’s point of view, and ...