Jennafina

I like the parenthacies too. Its a clever idea.

Thanks What steps should I take to inprove my sentance structure? Should I try not to put the same word in twice in two sentances? Not say she instead of ...

Thanks! :)

Your poem is interesting. It flows well, but I can't tell if you are trying to make it rhime or not.

I agree with Liz. The atmosphere is really nice, and the whole poem has a magical quality, like shadows.

Hmmm.. Your poem sounds more apologetic than apreciative... With bitter undertones.. Poor daddy. Ouch.

For some reason it seams like a strobe light. Like disjointed images put togather to make your poem. That probably doesn't make any sence, does it..

You're poem is funny. Comical. I like all that stuff about him breaking you're wrist. :)

I like it. It has a sad, antique fealing about it. I, not really sure exactly what its about, but it seams like a dream maybe, or a memory..

I can relate to this. There are quite a few people I know that fit your discription. Nothing wrong with a little healthy anger... :p

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Sorry, I dont exell at spelling and grammer. I suck, actualy. It doesn't help that the spell check on my computor is broken, I know its not an excuse. Ill ...

Well.. um.. Thats my story. Pathetic title, i know. coments would be EXTREMELY APRECIATED!!!

CAPTUREING!! Nice imagery. I will never look at a moth trying to get in the window again. Seriously.

It has a really nice, atherial, whispy quality. I really like it.