JC

I smile softly and hug her back, “Thank you.” Punctuation. It's one of my larger pet peeves. The comma should be a period. Comma's are used when you're doing something ...

I’ve always felt a strong vibe inside of me when I knew he was around, a type of lurching in my stomach and I feel my blood begin to warm. ...

Hey Jabber, this is for the contest! You've got two special crits left after this =D Okay, so Fantasyartist got most of the little things. Although I did notice something ...

Hey Clau! This is for the contest =D Remember, you've got two more fancy detailed critiques! =D Pavel Ippolitovich disliked his shackles, he disliked that, upon walking into the cart, ...

I stayed up all night reading it (It's seven in the morning, just finished), and by golly. That was one crazy night...lol Although, I despised...sorry, let me reword that...loathed, absolutely ...

‘I love Lyla and I want to be with her.’. Take out the first period so it read like this... 'I love Lyla and I want to be with her'. ...

Awww...that was cute. I disagree with sokool, though, I think the lengh was perfect. Having a scene of Matt's depression would have been overkill in my eyes. Kool caught all ...

Actually, this doesn't fare well in this section. It would do better in Writers Corner, where you can tell people about something you plan to write. This isn't fiction yet, ...

Bold= My Comment You were at sitting at home looking at the pictures you took in the past. You saw every little detail, from what you took now was far ...

The rows of benches which stood on either side of the room's center aisle, the strip of carpet leading from the front entrance to the far end along that same ...

"Darkness..." Bellin thought sorrowfully, "Such a thing is truly symbolic of the deeds I have caused." Ouch. That's painfully cliche. So classic fantasy/video game. (why are video games always fantasy

He’s holding me hostage (sorta) and I had no clue who he really was. This is just a weird sentence all around. It starts off in present tense, and ends ...

So, normally I would have some grammer/spelling/suggestiony things to put in those fancy quote boxes, but Sureal beat me to the only one I could find. *sigh* hehe. But that ...

I glanced down at the person, who happened but once again my brain had found yet another way of stimulating my misery. That makes absolutely no sense. Take out the ...

Whow. That was...interesting. I didn't find many mistakes... have a seat inside? What's with the question mark? I love how he talked to himself least, I think that's what he ...