Young Writers Society

I glanced down at the person, who happened but once again my brain had found yet another way of stimulating my misery.

I turned to him and waited for him to speak.

“How are you? he questioned, rubbing his hand down my arm.

“I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable,”

He grabbed the envelope he had brought with him and headed towards the door.

‘I-I need to tell you something,’ he stuttered.

“Before he got on the plane...he told me he wasn’t coming back,”

he wrote me one too[period] [s]telling me he knew that he was going to die.[/s]”

Even if I had wanted to forget Rocco,

“I’m pregnant.”

If you finish a thought and nothing comes after it, there's a period

If the character say's something, and he said/she said/he muttered ect
comes after it, then there is a comma after the dialoge.

If an action comes after the dialogue, there's a period.

The first paragaph was a bit confusing, but after that the story had a nice flow to it. The only part I thought was rather rushed was when she says she's not gonna open the letter and in the next sentence she's already opening it.
And it isn't exactly clear to me what she mean with "he had fought with me to save my life". Did he fight with her so she wouldn't board the plane? What exactly happened there? I think thats something you could go more into deatail.
You passed Alexa's feelings quite well to the readers. I could really feel her pain. And the realitionship between her and Brett was also well depicted.

Ennui dun the crit ande picked out the errors already. I found this a bit confusing to start off with, but the ending was good, and explains Alexa's feelings at the beginning, so well done there.

Memories spun through my head. I didn’t understand him. I watched a black SUV pull into the driveway; At first I saw Rocco but I had to shake it off .I glanced down at the person, who happened but once again my brain had found yet another way of stimulating my misery.

Brett had been my first friend in New York and I know he would be the last person to ever leave me. He had told me he loved me everyday since Rocco’s decease. I turned to him and waited for him to speak.

“Okay,” I said weakly, reluctant to [s]not[/s] break out in tears.

“I love you,” he said.

I had had it[s],[/s] Brett had finally blown a fuse.

“What are you on the rebound now?” I ruptured.

“ No Alex, you-” I didn’t let him finish[s]ed[/s].

I was now on my feet, pacing, crying, being hysterical.

“I just want to make you happy, like Rocco did[s]...[/s]” He said [s]and[/s] as he put his hand on my heart. “I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable[s],[/s] .”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t do this now,” I confessed [s]and[/s] as I wiped away my tears.

‘I-I need to tell you something,’ he stuttered.

I waited for him to speak as he hunted for words to say.
“Before he got on the plane...he told me he wasn’t coming back,”

“What?” I didn’t make sense to me, “What, what are you saying?” My heart burned with anger as the thought of someone killing Rocco entered my mind.

“No...he just had that feeling,” Brett opened the envelope and took out a note.

“He wrote this for you the night before he left, he wrote me one too telling me he knew that he was going to die.”Brett said.

“I thought he had gone mad, but when I heard about the plane crash..” his words faded as I began to read the letter I had refused to open:

Tears flowed down my face as I keep staring at the letter.

“How could he say that?” I cried as I looked up at Brett. “He said we were spend our lives together!”

Even if I had wanted to forget Rocco, there was no possible way too. Now knowing that he had fought with me to save my life, I could never live with the fact that he was gone.