Incandescence

It wasn't actually a "bam" because the rest of the poem was not "bam." It has to be a recursive pattern, or a build-up, which made the ending much less ...

I'm not a fan. Sorry, but it had no point, although some good images. The second to last line is just...ew.

It isn't about my younger brother. It's about my older brother who committed suicide when I was 9.

My point is proven.

Your metronomical device was very good. The rhythm was perfect. The subject matter, however, is a different story. Try to be a little more original, as this reminded me of ...

And people knowing who you are is really just succumbing to the machination. Not wanting people to know who you are is also a part of the system. Meh. Rock'n'Roll.

I've long known real life was not as powerful in words as my imagination.

Yeah. It's for our very own faith (i.e. Whitney)! Heee. Anyway, the Unicorn bit was in reference to one of her previous poems where she said that if you still ...

Too vague for me to understand it. This is a poem for you, and as such, only you can give yourself reasonable critiques. It didn't move me like it seemed ...

FUCK graduation r.i.p. eric I see the stars that are clear, have been dead for years, but the idea just lives on. I love you, but angels don't hear the ...

:snicker: Well, the ballerina thing is...a joke, inside one, of course. And the title, SOS (Ship Out at Sea) is supposed to make some kind of vage reference to a ...

Well, I'm glad this poem wasn't for me , granted that it could be (I'm at 103! wootwoot!). Anyway, I already told you my thoughts on what to fix.

Hahaha. No, it's okay. I already noticed them, but the thing about Marketplace -> Mar etplace is sarcasm about the faded out cloth (i.e. some letters don't show up.).

Likewise, maybe you and your friends are just really superficial. I've long suspected everything we say is somewhat cliche and therefore there is no real character "development" to be had.

:raises hand vaguely: Dante was a nutcase, and excepting Inferno, the rest of the "Comedy" sucked. This would be easier to discuss on AIM, so...yeah. If you've got it, IM ...